Saturday, March 3, 2012

Let It Be

Recently, I feel like many of my posts, have been "heavy." My heart has been heavy. Broken. My soul, has been in need of repair. I've been carrying so much! And need to just breathe.

Much of it, has been because of my brother. Who just makes me feel so uneasy. He rubs me, the wrong way. I can't trust him. He's just so sly. Doing the worst things, under the radar. And no one else, really seems to bring it up. But it bothers me. So much!

In so many ways, he's destroyed our family. He's still doing it. Making life miserable, for so many! And I'm not sure, what I should do. But it bothers me. It bothers me, that he steals from everyone. That he lies. That he makes a fool, out of people. Then hides from it. Doesn't own up, to the things that he does.

It bothers me, that he hurts the people that I love, so much! That he makes up excuses for it. That he brings his problems, to the rest of us. Expecting us, to make them go away. He's just evil. And I don't know what to do about it. I hate to bring it up here. But it's been on my mind. And it needs to get out!

And then, I've been missing so many people. That have gone before me. To meet our Maker. Really missing our time together. The things we shared. Time that we shared. Just being together. I've been so emotional lately!

Also, I've been so worried about my Dad. Hoping that his health improves. That things get easier for him. And my Mom. I just worry a lot, about the 2 of them. I wish that I could do more for them. Carry more of the burdens. Make things better, and easier, for them.

But I know, that I can't really, do much more. I do a lot already. I ALWAYS put my family first. I've sacrificed so much for them. But at some point, we all need to carry our own burdens. We all have our crosses to bare. The hardships, that we need to deal with. On our own. I know this. But it's still hard!

I know, that I can't change things.
That I can't make everyone's pain go away. Even if I try. I know that sometimes, you just need to "Let It Be." God knows the "Master Plan." He knows why we must "suffer." Why we have certain crosses to bare. Why some people "get away with it," while others have to "face" their problems!

Sometimes, we have to go though "rough" patches. To value the good times. I know this. In my brain, I know this. But in my heart, I wish I could make all those tough things, go away. Sometimes, we just need to learn that we need to "Let It Be."

Because there is no changing life. Sometimes things, just need to work themselves out. And sometimes, we need to let go of certain things. And certain people. That can be the hardest. But I'm learning how to do it.

"Let It Be." If it was meant to be, it will work itself out. But we can't sit here, and stress ourselves out, about everything. I know this. But I need to start really believing it! Sometimes, we just can't fix things. Sometimes people don't want to change. And sometimes, we just need to go live our lives. Without worrying about the world. I'm learning how to just "Let It Be."

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