Why We Hide It...

"Love is patient. Love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag. And is not arrogant."
~1 Corinthians 13:4.

People ask me all the time, why would My Guy and I keep our relationship out of the public eye. Why doesn't my family know? Why would I be OK, being in the background, when we are in public? Why am I OK, with him paying someone else, to publicly take the heat? Why am I OK with all of this?

To begin with. It didn't start this way. We had a long distance relationship. My close friends knew about My Guy. My best friend met him. Loved him. Fell in love with his best friend. My Mom knew I was dating someone. And after 6 months or so, they had a long conversation on the phone. Later, she would meet him. While my Dad was in the hospital.

But this entire time, I've also been battling the Big C. Dealing with all that it is. Trying to stay on top of it. My Guy, has never once failed me. Or been upset with my situation. He's right by my side. Takes care of me. Holds me when I'm at my weakest. Takes me to doctor's appointments. Changes his schedule, to fly with me. So I can meet with specialists.

And that's exactly, what My Guy has always been all about. My biggest cheerleader. We both have very public jobs. Jobs that put us out there. Places that we're not always comfortable with. But we've signed up for our jobs. So we take all that comes with it.

That doesn't mean that we have a magic wand, that makes everything perfect. But we've both learned from our past relationships. Learned what works for us as an individual. What we both want in our lives.

From the beginning, we've had those ridiculously serious conversations. I've been blunt with my health. Never holding back. Never holding back, what I wanted, or expected from a relationship. My Guy, also laid it all out on the table for me. And we just have this understanding.

I moved East. So that we had a chance. So that we could figure all this out. And now, we're like a married couple. In many ways. Mondays are our Sundays. We spend most of the day in bed. Sleeping. Recovering from the other 6 days of the week. I cook every meal that I can. I clean. He works Tuesdays. And usually Thursdays-Sundays. We have those disagreements about clothes all over the floor. Where we're going to be, for various holidays. How and when, we're going to travel. Things like that.

But guess what else? My Guy supports me going to college. Getting these ridiculous degrees. Working crazy hours. He understands that I want to pay for my education. And at times, that's not easy. So I work. In music. A very demanding schedule. Many times, we spend many hours flying, from state to state, to be supportive of one another.

He sits in the audience. Watching me. Cheering me on. Being my biggest supporter. I still sit on Sundays, cheering him on. Making sure that he has everything that he needs, to be successful at his career. We're always there for each other. Especially on the bad days. Like when he walks in, and tells me, "I'm done. It's time to walk away. This job is too much." I get him to calm down. Realize it was a bad day. Things are going to get better. Work isn't always going to be like this.

Not everything is perfect. We don't have anyone to look at. To use as a guide, for our lives. Because our situation is different. He has a very public job. Makes money, from fans. And "Meet and Greet," type of situations. He has asked me many times, do I want to be more public? Do I want to go to these events? Not wear his company's shirts. You know, be at his side. Do I want to stand at his side, in public, every weekend?

I want to scream "YES," from the rooftops. Like I know he wants to do. But with my health, I just don't think it could be a possibility. Not right now. It feels unfair. Tough. I feel like, I'm a bad girlfriend. I should be stronger. I should be able to handle this. But when I first got sick, I was in another relationship. One that found people following me. To write about me. About my situation. To add these stories to "rag mags," and blogs.

This time around, I'm more cautious. Few people, really know who this guy is. His friends know about us. His family knows. A good group of my friends know. My Mom knows. But we're careful. My Guy is someone that wants to make sure, I'm safe. And taken care of. That I'm OK. This isn't his first rodeo. He's been through this before. And realizes how hurtful and nasty the public can be.

So we've talked about this. We have a plan in place. People don't realize, but we've almost been in this relationship for 4 years. 4 YEARS!!! We're happy. We live as "normal" a life as possible. We still eat dinner together. We travel together. We sit and watch silly movies. Weekly, we try to have dinner with his family. For a few months, his nieces lived with us. We're dedicated to each other. 100% That's all that matters!

But this past week, I knew he needed someone at his side. His PR team had been putting the pressure on him. We talked about this. Almost 18 months ago, a similar situation had come up. Then, we paid an employee of his, to stand by his side. That's it. Stand there. Don't say anything. Just be there. At the same time, it helped to calm the waters for us. I found that people stopped looking at me, every single time I ventured out. My life got simpler. When they thought he was with her...

Late November rolled around. And we knew something had to be done. A meeting was called. His close family came, his team, and boss. The decision was made. Call that same employee. All week, they've been seen publicly. All week, I've been there. In the background. Not having to deal with nonsense. Being able to enjoy myself. My Guy has been able to relax a little. Enjoy everything that has come, from all his hard work.

All week, at night, we went to many private parties and functions. Where I was able to be at his side. He came to see me, and the band perform. We could walk out, hand in hand, not having to look over our shoulders. It was amazing! The exact reason, why we keep "us" secret.

But Friday, people got crazy. This guy showed up for an event. Moments later, things were blowing up. People had lots of stuff to say. Nothing too nice. About his companion. About his decisions. Immediately, he was sending me texts. "We were right." "Glad we decided not to tell." "I'm glad you don't have to deal with all this s*&t!"

And there you go, the real reason why we keep "us," from everyone else. His company has received so much inquiry, about that poor girl. So many people are mad. Upset. And that person, well, people won't leave her alone.

Yes, I'm glad we decided not to share "us." I couldn't handle it. Not right now. Not with my health. Not with my Dad's health. I know how these people work. And right now, it's honestly too much to handle.

Like I said, I know we picked our careers. But we didn't necessarily pick everything else, that has come with them. We'd like to keep our "privates lives," well...private. That shouldn't be too much to ask for.

After the event, and my show, on Friday night...My Guy took me in his arms. Whispered in my ear, "I'm glad your in my life. Dang it, I wish that I could show you off to the world. I've never been happier. Never in my life. Never been prouder of anyone. Whatever it takes, I'm going to keep you safe. I love ya Doll Face." My Love, I LOVE you too! I'm not going anywhere. Regardless of what happens, I'll always stand by my man. ♥

Hoping for Peace

Something about today, has helped me to find peace. Monday night, I went to a rosary. For a friend of mine. Who was only 28 years old. Just months older than me. And yesterday, she was laid to rest. In her final resting place. We were childhood friends. We shared chocolate milk on Fridays, and helped each other with school projects.

All of this, seems so strange. We're young. She was so full of life. This should not have happened. Not to her. We still don't know if it was an accident. Self inflicted. Or murder. We don't know the whole story. Just the sadness. The sadness that comes with this loss.

I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I mean she was my friend. And it hurts to lose a friend. Especially through violence like this. But the pain is deeper. Like it's more available. More accessible. Like it could have been me, instead of her.

To be honest, I think it's because we were very similar. In lots of ways. Far beyond our ages. The similarities in our lives, they're a little scary. And not so many years ago, I found myself in a darkness. In a hole. Looking for a way out. Praying for someone to help me.



Today was spent with family. Just My Guy and his family. I really enjoyed it. And there was something so calming about this field of flowers that we past. It just made me smile. Gently blowing in the breeze. Almost like a message from above. Letting me know, that there is still beauty on earth. A message that life still moves forward.

I was lucky. I worked through my darkness. It was nothing like drugs or alcohol. But rather, things going on inside. Cleansing of my soul. Realizing and facing the things in my life, that were causing me the most pain. The most heartache. I got to work through all the things that were weighing me down, and sucking the life from me.

Looking back now, I wish I could have been more available to my friend. Even if it was just to listen to her. Maybe I could have helped. Maybe I could have made her feel better about herself. Who knows what that could have done. But it might have helped.

In the past, I've not been the best of friend, to all of my friends. You know, life gets busy. And the time and distance grows. I'm lucky to have an incredible core group of friends. People that are always there to love me. When I need it. And when I don't. And even sometimes, when I don't want anyone else around. They've helped me through so much. Especially my Battle with the Big C.

But there are also friends that I've let our friendship sort of "die down." These are good people. Great friends! And just because I lack in time, I've let things go. I realize that it's my fault. And I want to reconnect. Reconnect with high school friends. College friends. And childhood friends. I want to be a better friend. A more attentive friend.

Growing up is tough. All of a sudden everyone and everything, is screaming out for your time. It's demanded. And your "free time" becomes smaller and smaller. Blogging for me, has always been an "easy and fast" way to stay connected with friends. I can sit down for 5 minutes, and bam, all my friends know what I've been up to. I can sit at 2AM, and catch up on all their blogs. It's just "easy."

But "easy" is not what I'm looking for. I want good, strong, and loving friendships. I want to start talking, to all those people that I've lost touch with. The ones that I shared so much of my life with. The people that I think about. The ones that are always on my mind. I want to be a better friend to them.

I don't want to lose another friend like this. Tragically. I want to be there for them. To celebrate in their joys. And carry them through their sadness. I want to be that friend. I want to be the good friend that I used to be. Before I let my crazy schedule dictate my life.

"A" didn't die, without leaving a mark on all of us. She was special. Full of life. And even in her death, she is still inspiring good. "A" will be missed. By all those who loved her. But for me, she has inspired so much. In 28 years, she touched many lives. Now it is time for my friend to rest her soul. ♥

Quiet Time

I'm pretty much craving a little bit of this. Quiet time. A good book. A comfy couch. No worries. Just some time to breathe. Time to let my mind rest a little. Maybe a cool breeze. And the light scent of fresh flowers.

The last few months have been extremely busy. And chaotic. I might have a crap load of siblings, but I still feel the entire weight of the world. You know, when it comes to my parents. I wouldn't have it any other way. I enjoy "being there" for my parents. I like that I have the opportunity, to take the time off of my life. And just be with my Mom and Dad. Nursing my Dad back to health. Easy the stress and pain that my Mom feels.

But it's a heavy load to bear. Especially with everything else I have going on. Let's not even get me started on my own health issues. I'm exhausted. And work, well, it just takes the last of my energy. All the time! School, well it's there too. It's never been hard. But it's draining.

God knows this. I'm positive that's why he has sent me My Guy. A man that I can lean on. And really believe and trust. Someone that is always here for me. Someone that stands beside me. And when things get too hard, he carries me along. Did you read his post from yesterday? All I have to say is, I'm one very lucky woman!

I know, that God knows best. He holds my entire future in his hands. I believe this, with my entire heart and soul. I also believe that he sends us the perfect people. The ones that fit right into our lives. That make us better. The people that help us to stretch and grow.

As much as I crave peace and quiet. Most of all, some alone time, I'm glad I have My Guy. He makes my entire life more simple. He adds to the quality of my life. And encourages my dreams, hopes and goals. That's incredible!

Today, instead of staying in. You know, in my gorgeous hotel suite, I'm heading out. To be a supporter of My Guy. To show him the love and support, that he shows me, all the time! There will be enough quiet time in my future. I have 3 books packed for our trip. But today, I'll be cheering on the man I love. My reading will just have to wait. ♥

Searching for Peace

I know that I shouldn't feel this way. I should be very grateful for the life I live. I have a man that truly loves me. That has stood by my side through so much. Is here for me day in, and day out. My Guy is here, battle the Big C with me. I'm very lucky.

Beyond him, I have parents that love me very much. At times, I question my Daddy. But I realize, he grew up very differently than me. In a very different time. So I need to understand, at times, that harshness, it's really love. But I know, my parents love me. My Mom and I, well our relationship has just bloomed over the last few years. Something that I'm so grateful for!

I also have a HUGE group of friends that really love me. Best friends that I've had since birth. Especially Enzo. The man has done so much for me! Since birth, we've been "Kindred Spirits." Friends I've met along the way. My "adult" friends. The ones that are more like family. All the family friends that have watched me grow. That embrace me as a daughter. Yes, there are lots of them.

I'm also in a much more comfortable stage in my life. Financial, I'm doing well. I own my own home. Free and clear. It's mine. And I'm only 27 years old! I no longer have to go to sleep without eating, freezing in a cold house, and wondering if a tuition payment is more important than a doctor's appointment. I'm able to provide for myself. These basic things, that just a few years ago, were so far out of reach!

But I can't help myself. I've been going through a lot. The last few years have been tough. For me, it's been about facing demons from my past. Which is probably a shocker to many people out there. Yes, this shy, "Goody Two Shoes" woman...she has some pretty ugly things that she's had to face. Things that leave me sick to my stomach. Just thinking about them. But it's part of my history. The things that have shaped me.

Along with that, comes family issues. It's tough being the only child that my parents had together. I face more problems with my brothers and sisters, than most people face with their worst enemies. It's tough. It's hard to sit there and take all the name calling. The constant belittling. It's just tough.

The worst part is, I'm almost "forced" to have relationships with these people. People that I don't respect. I even question if I really love them. I mean, we're supposed to love our family, but do I love these people? I'm not sure. And that to me, is very sad!

In the last year, I've had to turn the other way for many things. Many family issues. I've had to listen to so many lies. To endure so much! To honestly, question every person in my family. Are they really here for the right reasons? What is their motive? I can't stand to watch what certain people are doing to our family. But I have no voice in the matter!

I guess there is just a lot going on. With my family. With old friends. People that I thought I could trust. Only to learn the hard way, that I really shouldn't have allowed them into my inner circle. Lots of circumstances surrounding certain family members. And of course, my own health. Let's also not forget about my Daddy's recent brush with death. It's all been tough.

Some days, I question everything in my life. All of it! I've recently found myself questioning things, that I never have before. Like my religion. Even my own morals and values. I guess I just need a "time out" from the "real life."

I guess the fact that our traveling is starting to pick up, well that could be a very good thing. My Guy has returned to his long hours at work. And I've been put on semi-bed rest for another week. So maybe God is just giving me a much needed "Adult Time Out." You know, to search for the much needed peace that my body, mind, and soul desperately need. ♥

Can We Start Over?

We've had a pretty hilarious day, thus far. And it's still early. But that's our life. And we're who we are. No changing that. I'm pretty sure that My Guy and I are a little old, and set in our ways. :)

Usually we have dinner with his grandma on Monday nights. You know, as long as we're in town. And we don't have to work. Heck, there have been times when I go to her house for dinner, while My Guy has to work. He has to miss out, but I don't! She makes dinner, I take dessert, and then I do all the cleaning. Because I just LOVE spending time with her. Hearing stories from the past. But this week, it just didn't happen. There were a few things that got in the way.

So, she came over for breakfast this morning. Probably not the best time to have planned this. Since I had a doctor's appointment, My Guy had to go to work, and we were getting ready to head west. But we hadn't seen each other in a long time. And I truly had missed her. We still had a yummy breakfast! I LOVE the fact that she LOVES Mexican food. So we had chiquichilles. So yummy!

On the way to my doctor's appointment, something happened to the car. And while My Guy was trying to figure it out, hood up and all, someone recognized him. Before I knew it, I was hiding under a seat in the back, he was on the phone with his assistant, and there were at least 20 cars stopped on the side of the road. All those people were taking pictures of him! Craziness!!!

I think I've said it more than once on here, but Mondays are our Sundays. Therefore, Tuesdays are our Mondays. And believe me, today FELT just like a MONDAY! Everything going wrong, and a HUGE list of things to do.

We lucked out a bit. One of My Guy's friends happened to see us stranded on the side of the road. He called a buddy of his, that owns a tow truck. And by the time My Guy's assistant got there, they were hooking up the tow truck. Some whispers were exchanged. We, or I should say I, was towed half a block into some random garage. Where I was able to sneak into the assistant's car. And then we were off to the doctor. Crazy! But no one saw me. :)

I was late to my appointment. My doctor was nowhere to be found. And I fell asleep in the waiting room. My Guy, he had to rush to work. Ya, we broke down maybe 5 minutes from his job. But they had to drive 2 hours to my appointment and back. After his meeting, he came to pick me up. I was asleep. In the waiting room. Still hadn't seen the doctor...

Eventually, I was checked out. I'm "A OK." Well, thanks! I knew that. We missed our scheduled flight out of town. And had to wait to be cleared for another take off. 2 hours in an airplane. On the tarmac. Ya, it's been a tough one.

I'm just happy to be going home. To the SW. Where I belong! Hopefully tomorrow is more kind to us. I can't take another day like this. Oh, and we might just tell my Dad about this whole relationship thing. You know, since we've almost been dating for 3 years! Where in the heck has all the time gone? ♥

Crazy Weekend

I sometimes wonder if it's just us, or does everyone have these crazy weekends. You know, the ones that are jam packed with a million things to do. I'm exhausted just thinking about it all! I don't think we actually had more than a minute or two to just sit. But it was a nice weekend.

There were plenty of ups and downs. The extreme kind. Really high highs, and really low lows. But in the end, it was a really good weekend. My Guy is back to work. Full time. And he is so happy about it. I do believe I will get off of bed rest tomorrow. And I think Enzo is heading home tomorrow too.

See, lots is going on. Oh, and I'm back to the craziness at work. You know the stuff. 100+ hours a week, more files than I know what to do with, that kind of thing. But I'm more than happy with all of that. Even if I'm working from home. I'm anxious to feel productive again. You know, past all this "Big C" stuff.

On a better note, this week is my Dad's birthday. And we're heading west to visit. That and My Guy will be working out west for 2 weeks. So we're looking forward to a little travel, and R&R in the southwest!

Honestly, I'm just looking forward to seeing my loved ones. Both family and friends. Oh, and maybe just maybe, seeing my house. I miss it! But right now, My Guy is calling. He's made lunch. Smells delish! And we're planning on having a lazy day. Mondays are our Sundays after all! ♥

Living in the "Now"

Since I've been under the weather, I'm getting into reading again. Very much so! For anyone that knows me, even just a little bit, you know that I LOVE to read! :) Unfortunately, over the last 2 months or so, I've forgotten to pick up a good book. So this is a welcomed change of pace for me.

This morning I was so into my book, I didn't realize that My Guy was leaving for work. He stood there, at the foot of the bed, with a sad look on his face. Until his buddy came in and told me, I think he's waiting for something. Oh ya, a kiss.

Do you ever get that way? So into something that you are doing, that you forget about "real life." I have to admit, when I read, I get that way. And when I sew. It just feels like something takes over me. Oh ya, when I garden too!

Something tells me, I'm going to find little notes like this one. You know, floating around. To remind me about what's really important in life. I know that I need to do better. But right now, I'm just not in the best of spirits. It has a lot to do with my health, and my Dad's. But you know what, I'm going to make the effort.

I'm stuck on bed rest currently. But I did manage some dinner plans for My Guy and I tonight. And tonight, it's going to be all about time together. I've got a stack of his favorite movies. And a ton of music that he enjoys. Because nothing is more important than living in the "now." Good book or not, I have a GREAT man that loves me! ♥

Saturday, Cowls, Naps, Work, and My Guy

Do you see this cute cowl? Do you? Ya, I'm in love with it! Maybe I just have this sudden urge, to surround myself with beautiful things...just to make me feel better. Anyway that you spin it, I want it. Especially now, day 1 post-op.

My Guy is "Officially" back to work. His first real big deal is tonight. And he's pumped! So am I. I just hope that I can stay awake until then. And just a secret to share with you...he came out here yesterday, and left early this morning. He came with lots of goodies to make me feel better to. He really is so sweet!!!

I'm going to go take a nap. I hear it's supposed to help you feel better. Especially, post-op. Ugh! I HATE feeling like this. But what can you do? I'm just hoping to watch My Guy and some of our friends tonight. Heck, if I'm feeling up to it, I might try to crochet a cowl like this one. ♥

Things I Cannot Change

The last 48 hours have not been kind. I'm not sure what's really going on. But I do know this much, I need to give it all up. Give all of my worries, pains, and baggage to the Lord. He will help me through all of this.

To sum it up, I was headed to go spend some time with a good friend. Take 5 minutes to just breathe, and be somewhat normal. Instead, I ended up in the ER. A complication to this situation I'm in. And now, just over 36 hours later...I'm flying east. Getting ready for yet another operation.

I'm not questioning it. I'm not holding anyone responsible. Just knowing that I want to feel better. And I want to live. I'm not sure what my future holds. But I have the faith that it will be good. Regardless of what the outcome is. In 2 hours, some of my most trusted colleagues will help me on this long road to recovery. ♥

He's Got A Way...

In case you don't know it, I love My Guy! Full heartily love this man! Yes, the one that is fast asleep right here. Face palm, hair sticking up, curled up in the blankets. I LOVE HIM! And just getting to see him, that just made my entire week! Have I mentioned just how much I've missed him?

Lately, things have been nuts! Honest to goodness...life has just been crazy. My Dad being this sick, has really thrown us all for a loop. Who would have thought he would spend days in the ICU. Especially for Christmas? Christmas was celebrated sometime between Christmas and New Year's Day. Yes, it took us days to get through our few gifts, that we bought and wrapped. You know, since we spent all our prime shopping days in the hospital. We were all that wiped out...

But then, you have me and My Guy. Our plans were just murdered. Seriously. He snuck around the hospital. You know, so I could cry on his shoulder. And he could hold me, and tell me that everything was going to be OK. You know, between praying for my Dad, talking to friends and family, and making sure my Mom was OK. Did I mention? I don't think I've slept more than 4 hours at a time, in well over a month. So to say, that we've totally skipped out on life and the holidays...well that is a HUGE understatement.

But then, My Guy is pretty incredible. And super understanding. He totally gets that I need to be with my family right now. And that our pile of gifts could wait until...well I don't know when. My Guy also understood, that this was not the time, to meet my entire family. Nor my Dad.

Fast forward a bit. This weekend. It had been circled on the calendar for a while. No. Not because, it is officially the first day he had off, since going back to work. Nope. His sister is getting married. As in later today!!! :)

I worked out some minor details with my Mom. Told my Dad that I had a "work thing" that I couldn't miss. And I caught a flight out east. Yesterday, I felt like a 5 year old on Christmas morning. Just waiting, to see the man I love. Yes. I was that lady! :)

And he didn't disappoint. No way Jose! We managed some quiet time. You know, between all the wedding stuff, and family stuff. And we just hung out. Caught up on life. To be honest, I just wanted to cuddle. To be safe in this man's arms once again. It was definitely the way to spend our night.




This song, it just reminds me of My Guy. This amazing man that I love. And that loves me with all his heart. I know this. Not just because he tells me all the time. But because he shows me all the time. I'm truly blessed. Even if, we just have this weekend to spend together...

It's been a tough month for my family. For me. And for our relationship. But there is always so much love, between My Guy and I. It doesn't matter if there are a billion miles between us. We know we have each other.

I feel like nothing, could ever, go really wrong. As long as My Guy is standing right beside me. He makes life amazing. And so fun! If I haven't already said this a million times, I'm a very lucky woman. Just to know that there is a human being, that loves me this much. So much, that I see it in his eyes, every time that he looks at me. I feel it in his arms, every single time he holds me. And it's in his voice, every single, solitary time that we talk. I just know that he loves me. And that folks, is what helps me through all the tough days. The Big C, Dad's health emergency, life...he's just got this way about life, that let's me know, just how much he loves me. At the end of the day, I can't ask for anything more. ♥

Superman Lost His Fight

I can't help but be incredibly sad. Pretty much crushed. My hero, my mentor, my friend lost his battle yesterday. Incredibly sad. I feel so empty inside. Like a part of me is instantly missing. My Superman, he lost his fight.

He battled cancer for years. He had battled his health, his entire life. But he never gave up. Never said it was too much. And when I began my fight with "The Big C," it was my dear friend that encouraged my own fight.

I met him as a young child. Quickly he became one of my parent's best friends. And my mentor. Someone who had accomplished so much in his lifetime. He came from a small town. He went to college, and became a teacher. Never giving up on his own education, he earned his PhD. A truly amazing man.

My friend was also a family man. A father of 2. Was married for the second time. Completely in love with his wife. He loved his grandchildren. And his stepchildren. He was devoted to his family. And that, I learned. Family always comes first. He taught me that.

He was also a devoted man. To the church. He loved his God. As I love God. Church made him happy. He enjoyed religion. He enjoyed everything about the church. And that, we shared. We'd talk about church. I'd send him various religious articles, symbols, and cards. We have a love for our Lord, that is an unbroken bond. A forever love.

My dear friend was my hero. My Superman. He taught me that nothing is ever out of reach. With plenty of hard work and persistence, you can get there. You can accomplish all of your goals. It just takes hard work. He had a dream to own a home, near the mountains. One of those expensive ones. About 10 years ago, he accomplished that. I remember the first time I visited. And we sat looking at the mountains and the stars. He also held an important job. One that took his entire career to get to. But one that he was so proud of.

He wasn't just a casual meeting. A chance friend. Someone that passes through your life. My friend had a HUGE impact on my life. He changed the direction I would take. The way I look at life. Even the man, that I allowed myself to fall in love with. Yes, my friend encouraged me to love My Guy. He knew it was important to have a life partner.

As incredibly sad as I am, I'm grateful. This amazing man was in my life. For 20 years. He changed me. He taught me. He allowed me to grow. He made my life better. And he taught me how to live. I'll never forget those things. Ever! Because that's how special he was.

My friend will always have a HUGE place in my heart. Thinking about him, brings a smile to my face. Those familiar hugs, I will miss them. I'll miss talking about life. His encouraging words. And his kind heart.

As hard as my own battle with "The Big C" has been, I will never give up. I've learned that from this man. To never give up. You never know what God has planned for you. Or what lies in your future.

On this day. The day when my heart is heavy with grief, I pray. I pray that my friend no longer has to suffer. That he gets to dance with the angels. Eat all the yummy food his heart desires. That he longer has to feel the pain that he lived with. And that my dear Lord has opened the Gates of Heaven to him. ♥

Sancho

Sancho was my "College Sweetheart." The one that I never saw coming. At all! Because we were so different. He was the guy that all the girls were in love with. I'm not lying. Little girls, college co-eds, old ladies...they all loved him! I remember more than once, women throwing their bras at him. While we were performing!

We met when I was a freshman in college. He was incredibly polite. You could tell that his momma had raised him right. He always made it a point to talk to me. We'd see each other in rehearsals and around campus. But we never really talked. It was more like a friendly "Hi" when we'd see each other. But no hanging out. No real conversations. He invited me to his house a few times. To "Jam Sessions." I just never went.

Until the late Spring of 2003. I don't really know how it happened. Or when I let my guard down. But I did. And we started hanging out more and more. We'd go to his house and watch movies. He'd play the guitar. We'd sing together. Just hang out. Like typical musicians.

And I'd cook for us at my house. Just hanging out. Casually dating. Not telling anyone though. As you will see in later weeks, this has become a pattern with me. Keeping my relationships on the "DL." But for this relationship, at the time, it was the best decision for us.

We spent the entire summer hanging out. I'd go watch him "gig" and he'd go watch me. Pretty much every day, we'd have dinner together. While I went to class, he worked. And evenings and nights were spent just hanging out.

When classes started up again, it became a bit more complicated. We'd flirt in front of people. More like he'd flirt, I'd blush. But no one knew the truth. OK, so one of our professors/friends sorta figured it out. It was pretty obvious. If you were paying attention...

Beyond our professor, Sancho told one friend. And I told one friend. And it stayed like that. At school, we'd casually talk. Just like friends. But we'd spend every evening together. Well, when my rehearsals, and our classes permitted. We'd catch Saturday breakfasts together. It seemed to be a good day to just hangout. And it was something we'd both look forward to. :)

Yes, we worked in close quarters. But we tried to keep things under wraps. Why? I'm not sure. It seemed like a good idea. At least, at the time. We went to conferences together. And performances. But we kept our distance.

The only slip ups we ever had, were actually hilarious! It always seemed like when I was late, he was late. I'd be running in the back down. Completely flustered. And he'd be casually walking through the front door. Not a care in the world. That was us. We'd get that look. Like "What's Going On?" He'd throw a devilish smile. Shrug his shoulders. And pull his hat a little lower. I'd try to explain why I was late. I doubt anyone ever believed us. Which was funny. Because it was true.

Another time, I was seriously late. Like 45 minutes. I came running in, and it was so hot inside! Probably because I had just run 3 miles. And worked out for 2 hours. I was also dressed in 2 layers of clothes. Because it was wintertime. I had on a tank top and shorts on. And to get from the gym to school, I put on a jogging suit. When I got inside, I swear the heater was on full blast. It was at least 80 degrees inside.

I contemplated what to do. I couldn't concentrate on our class. But I knew if I took off my pants, I'd get some crazy looks. Never mind that it was so hot. And that I had on shorts underneath. So I stood there. Just trying to get through my class. After an hour, I couldn't deal. And I took off my jacket...

Sancho, he fell down. Literally! And all I heard was "Woah!" And that too familiar whistle. I wanted to crack up. To at least turn around and see if he was OK. But I didn't. I couldn't. I'd give everything up. Later, we laughed about this. Because it was funny. And I'm pretty sure, by this time more people were figuring out our dating situation.

And me, I'm sure I sucked at keeping things on the "DL." Because he'd get me all flustered. I couldn't sing or play in front of him. Forget forming sentences. More than once, I lost my train of thought, mid conversation! People would ask me what was going on. I'd just shrug and say I had no clue. But the reality was, he made me nervous!

Sancho and I got more serious after I had a serious accident. I had totalled out my car. And honestly, I was lucky to have walked away. It happened on the highway. And I was at least 16 hours late getting home. Because I was scared to drive. But my Dad put me in his truck, and sent me off. It took me almost 6 hours, to make a 3 hour drive.

When I got home that night, Sancho was waiting for me. I could barely move. I was so sore. Everything hurt. I was an emotional wreck. He was there for me. Later that week, my auntie past away. Again he was there for me. That entire week, he would stay with me. Whenever we weren't in school, he was with me. He'd take me to school and rehearsals. And in the evenings/nights he would stay with me. Make sure I was OK. Make sure I was eating. And he'd let me cry.

We were really close. And it was nice, to finally be in a decent and serious relationship. We spent as much time as we could together. Even to the point were he'd bring me lunch on Wednesdays. When I didn't have a break between classes. So we'd have a quick, 10 minute lunch under the trees. It was everything that a "college relationship" should be. Fun, easy, and full of life.

As quickly and unexpectedly as it started, it ended. I'm thinking, at some point, the secrecy of our relationship, killed our relationship. We had a big performance before our Christmas break. And like usual, we stayed separate from one another. Afterward, we did go out. With his friends. Friends away from school. And it felt so good. Like things were finally falling into place. Like it was right. Like maybe, this was going to last.

But in the morning, after everything was behind us, and we were back to school...we were back to staying apart. It was tough. I knew we both wanted to just be happy. And not worry about what other people thought. But his job, sorta depended and flourished, because he was single. Not so good when we were dating...

Well, we finished the semester. And we actually spent a few days in town. Dating. Being "normal." Because no one else was in town. And really enjoying it. We wanted for this to work. Because we made each other better. He encouraged me to be more outgoing, like him. To enjoy life. And I kinda mellowed him out. Made him a bit more responsible. And taught him a lot about life too. We were just compliments to each other. Were one of us lacked, the other made up.

It was nice to be with someone who shared my same values and morals. We could have a good time. Laugh at ourselves. Jam to our music. Just have a good time. But the break from school, lead to the breakup. Although we drove together to my hometown, but in our own cars, that was the last we seen of each other. For our Christmas break. He went his way, and I went mine.

Life got busy. I went to work. And he went to work. Performing in different groups. Living in different cities. Living our separate lives. As easily as we started dating, 7 months later, we just stopped dating. No reasons. No real explanations. No official "Break Up Talk."

We're still friends. Good friends. Between December 2003 and July 2006, we didn't talk much. Mostly our conversations were about gigs or friends. Never just the 2 of us. We'd see each other at school, and we'd say Hi. But that wasn't often. But in 2006, when I moved back up north, I lived with Sancho. He was such a good friend.

We lived together for 9 months or so. It was right when "The Big C" roared it's ugly head. He was so good and supportive. Making sure I got to doctor's appointments. Helping me to work. Yes, more than once, he'd drive me the hour to work. Because of snow, it was more like 2 hours. And he'd drive me. He took care of me when I was sick. I'm pretty sure we watched every episode of Gilmore Girls, Sex in the City, Friends, etc. We'd watch all my favorite shows and movies. I'd cook for him. We just made it work. And I think, had I stayed longer, or hadn't been sick, we would have dated again.

But life had other plans for me. And in May 2007, I moved home. After a long internship, battling health issues, and helping my parents with their business. Sancho and I are still really close. We talk at least once a week. We still perform gigs together. To me, it's important to keep him as a good friend. We've been through a lot. Both good and bad. He's been an amazing friend to me. And I would never want to lose a dear friend like him. ♥

Enzo

Here we go. Boyfriend #1...

Enzo and I grew up together. He was 2 1/2 when I was born. His mom had known my mom for years. My older brother and sister and around the same ages as his older brothers. And his aunt and uncle, they happen to be my parents' best friends. So it was just a matter of time.

When I was born, Enzo and his mom came to visit me. On the day I was born. He brought me my first teddy bear. And from then on out, we were best friends. Yes, we did everything together. From the stories we hear, Enzo always took good care of me. When I was a baby, he would share his toys and food with me. So cute!

As we got older, we still did things together. But it also involved a lot of other people. Like when he was in T-ball, and later baseball, my parents used to sponsor his team. Along with his brothers and cousins. So we spent a lot of time at the Little League fields. Me with my dolls. Him playing. Oh, and he always managed to talk his uncle, into buying me a snack. And putting up an umbrella for me. :)

My parents got married when I was 5 years old. I was really closer to being 6. And I was the flower girl. Enzo was the ring bearer. We looked adorable together. We were well behaved during the ceremony. And posed for all the pictures. We actually had a lot of fun. Including the get-t0gether at his aunt and uncles' house...post ceremony...pre reception.

At the reception, after dinner, lots of dancing, and while we were having our cake...Enzo popped the question. His parents still have the VHS. The real proof! In our eyes, getting married seemed like a lot of fun. We could dress up, have a big party, have lots of food, get tons of presents, dance, play, and have as much cake as we wanted! The thought process of a then 5 year old girl and a 8 year old boy. :)

We stayed very close over the years. We spent 80% of our free time together. Mostly because of my parents and his aunt and uncle. Friday nights were bowling nights. The adults in our lives were in a bowling league together. And the 2 of us would just hang out. We'd eat. Play. Just be kids. The rest of the time, we were hanging out at my house or his aunt and uncle's house.

Another thing we did a lot, was go to his grandparents' Ranch. It was a HUGE treat to go. And we always had a great time. Enzo was usually practicing his roping or bull riding. And I would help his grandma cook and bake. We LOVED it!

Well, when I was 12 or so, feelings started to change. By this time, we were both musicians, playing and singing in the same group. We spent a lot of time together. And well, we were young. Every time someone got married, we stood up in the wedding together. If either of us had an event to go to, the other would go with. And before we knew it, we were dating.

Yes, Enzo did ask my Dad before our first date. But I think my Dad just thought we were going out for pizza with the rest of our friends. Or something like that. By the time my Dad caught on, we were dating.

We were hilarious. Enzo taught me how to drive. How to ride a horse. And how to enjoy life. He showed me what a real, honest, and good man was. And most importantly, how I should be treated. Our parents didn't always like the fact that we were dating. But for the most part, they were OK with it. I think they figured that they knew both of us, and could trust us.

My Dad and I hit a rough patch. And when I was 14, I moved in with Enzo's family. The rules were strict. As was to be expected. I was 14...he was 17. And his mom is so "old school" that it ain't funny! We had our own bedrooms. There were about 4 rooms between us. Under no circumstance, even if the house was burning, were we to enter each other's room. Or leave our room in our pjs. It was strict. But we were more than OK with it. Oh, and we each had our own bathroom. No need for unwanted trouble there...

Not many people knew that I lived there. Probably just our parents, his brothers, and his aunt and uncle. But we made it work. His mom would take me to school on her way to work. And Enzo or his dad would pick me up from a variety of different activities I was in. And as a freshman, that increased! I probably lived there for 6 months or so. I don't know. There was a summer in the middle of the whole thing. But we made it work.

I moved back home after tragedy hit. Enzo's older brother (the middle brother) was killed. It was sudden. And really unexpected. It was an accident. And the entire family was greatly affected. After the services, and all had quieted down, I moved home. And Enzo tried to enjoy his Senior year of high school.

We went to different schools. And were 3 years apart. That in and of itself, was more than what most teen couples deal with. But now, Enzo was grieving for his brother. And I tried to be there for him. His brother was so pumped that his "little bro" was a Senior. And he wanted him to enjoy every aspect of his Senior year. So when he died in early September, well it didn't give a sunny look to the year.

Remember I said that Enzo's mom was "old school?" I mean she is really "old school." And after S died, she went into mourning. For an entire year, there was to be no celebrating, no going out, no fun, nothing enjoyable, nothing exciting. And Enzo was pulled in about 20 different directions. This was his Senior year. And he knew his brother wanted him to enjoy it. So he went to his older brother and cousins...

Well, we ended up going to his Senior Homecoming together. It was just weeks later. But when his cousin gave him an envelope that they had found, we had to go. S was an amazing man! He enjoyed life. And thought you should live every single second to it's fullest. S had saved money. And put it away for Enzo. $200 for each of the 3 dances that he would have that year. $300 for his Senior Rodeo event. And $500 to go on his Senior trip. $600 for his graduation party. With a letter that would make anyone cry.

I always thought it was so weird that he had all of this saved for his little brother. And the letter. Almost like he just knew. Like he knew that this accident would happen. But it made Enzo realize that he still needed to live. And now, more than ever. Because he had to live for both he and his brother.

We went to Homecoming. Enzo bought me a dress, shoes, the whole works. And we went out to a nice dinner. Had fun. It was the first time I had seen him smile since his brother had past away. And we went with all of our friends afterward, to the Family Ranch. We sat there, watching the sunrise. Enjoying the moment. And later, having a breakfast, that his grandma had made.

2 days later, he had moved in with his cousin. And he wouldn't say a word. But I found out, his mom and him had a pretty bad fight. And in the end, she told him either he was going to mourn and be sad, or he was going to move. And he moved. It was hard on him. His family had been so close. But he moved.

And the 2 of us still dated. I could tell how much he missed his brother. And his mom. Because his dad and him still talked. They would meet for dinner or breakfast a couple of times a week. And Enzo was just trying to get through his Senior year. The best way he could. But he was hurting.

Shortly after his Winter Ball, I could just tell he was miserable. He was going to Harvard the following Fall. Something that I may or may not have had a hand in. ;) And I think he just knew that he would probably not talk to his mom before that. No matter how many times he tried to talk to her, she wouldn't talk to him. And it pained me. It really broke my heart. Because he was miserable. It was like he had lost 2 people in his life.

On Valentine's Day, he planned a big night out for us. Just the 2 of us. His cousin was out of town with his wife. My parents were out of town. And the 2 of us were just going to enjoy Valentine's Day. His tia helped him to make a beautiful and delicious dinner. We got all dressed up. And well...I just couldn't do it. I knew he was miserable deep down inside. Part of him was missing. The sparkle was gone from his eyes. He wasn't the same man I had fallen in love with. He needed to fix things.

Yes folks, on Valentine's Day, we broke up. It was mutual. I knew I had to let him go. That would be the only way him and his mom would talk before he left for college. And he needed that. He needed to know that they were OK before he moved across the country. I was devasted. Enzo was crushed. I was 15...he was 18.

For the next few months, we barely talked. I would go to his games. I still wore his Letterman's Jacket. But we hardly spent time together. I knew he had started speaking to his mom. But he hadn't moved back. Then one night, he came to see me. He wanted me to go with him to his Senior Prom. And I said yes. Because I still loved him. So much. And I wanted him to be OK. To be honest, I really missed him too.

We went. And we had a great time! We danced all night. Had so much fun. It was like "old times." All of us even headed to the Ranch afterward. As the sun was rising, the 2 of us sat on the mountain, in our Prom gear, just taking in the view. It was magical. And deep down inside, I knew that was probably the last time I'd ever be in his arms again. The last time I'd listen to his strong and steady heartbeat. The last time I'd feel his breath on my neck. The last time I'd feel that safe.

A week later, he moved in with his parents. 4 days later, he had graduated. And 3 days after that, we were at his graduation party. The following day, he was moving. And starting college in the summer. I was devastated! I didn't know which way was up. I was 15...he was 18. We didn't have much say in our lives. I was still a kid. Even if I felt like a grown up. I was only 15.

He asked me to marry him. With a big diamond ring. He wanted to be with me forever. And I didn't know what to say. I was too young. My Dad would never go for it. And we both knew it. We didn't know what to say to one another. And Enzo moved. His mom was sad. His parents now had an "empty nest." And she would call me all the time. She wanted to know how he was. I knew about as much as she did...I had no clue!

This was my first year as a Varsity Cheerleader. And I used that as a good excuse. To stay busy. Because when I wasn't busy, I thought of him. The man that I loved. He was truly a man. And the most caring man that I knew. I missed him every second of the day. Because he wasn't just my ex-boyfriend, he was my oldest and very best friend in the world. My "breastest friend ever!"

At the end of that summer, we started to talk. And talk a lot! No one else knew. But we probably talked 3-4 times a day. And then, we decided that we'd try a long distance relationship. No lie! When he came home for the holidays, no one was the wiser. The 2 of us, were out on dates. Yes, we would have to drive an hour north, so we didn't get caught, but we didn't care. :)

But it didn't last. And from my Sophomore year to my Senior year, we dated off and on. He was busy in school. I was busy in school. We lived on opposite sides of the country. My Senior year was filled with trips, cheerleading, and college applications. That was his first year in med school.

When I got accepted to Harvard, he was more excited than I was. Because were he could afford it, I couldn't. His family has some serious cash. And he is heir to it all. That's the way his grandparents wanted it. Me? I had a full tuition and fees scholarship. But oh ya, there was still room and board, books, and living expenses. Oh, and my parents didn't want me leaving the state. Enzo, he was willing to support me. He had the money. But I just wasn't sure. And I definitely didn't need to start WWIII with my parents...

So I stayed. But I went to the furthest university I could. 3 hours away. And I bought a home. Yes, I bought a house when I was 18 years old! Dear Enzo, he had a gorgeous home too! And the 2 of us, once again, started a great romance. Thousands of miles couldn't separate us! I do think that 9/11 had something to do with us wanting to be together. It was like we were being sent this message. That something this special, was worth fighting for.

It was tough to say the least. But we tried. We talked on the phone a lot. Anytime Enzo had time off, he'd come and see me. And when we went home for the holidays, we just played like we hadn't seen or talked in months. It was a bit crazy. But it worked. Well, for a while.

One day, someone found out. I don't know who. But in no time, my Dad and his mom also knew. And that's when the fire started. For some reason, they didn't like us dating. But when we were dating, all they wanted was for us to be apart. And when we were apart, they wanted us to date each other. It was weird. And so complicated.

Well, we eventually broke up. Because it became too much. And he was in med school. I was dealing with very sick family members. And we just couldn't make it work. In the end, we loved each other more than life itself. Once, we even walked into "The Little White Chapel." And we were going to get married. Last minute, we walked out. That's how close it got. As adults, he gave me 3 engagement rings. But we just couldn't change our parents. And for us, that was the nail in the coffin. Because they mean too much to us.

Years later, his grandma died. And in her Will, she left everything to me and Enzo. The family still had hopes that we'd make it work. We were supposed to be the couple that took over for his grandparents. We were the "meant-to-bes." "We" just never really happened.

But now, we are the best of friends. We want nothing but the best for each other. And since we both live in the eastern part of the US now, we get to see a lot of each other. Enzo and My Guy happen to be great friends now too. They go on hunting trips together. And when I needed an internship out here, Enzo was the guy I turned to. Yes he was! And when the Big C happened, it was Enzo that totally stepped up to the plate. That was before I met My Guy.

Enzo took leave from his job to come take care of me. And he still takes care of me. Making sure that I'm OK. And doing 90% of my medical stuff himself. Yes, he is an amazing friend. And an incredible man. In the end, we weren't right for each other. We weren't the "perfect couple." But we were meant to be best friends for life. ♥

Oh Sunday!

It's Sunday. My Guy is working. Busy as heck! He was not too happy about the early wake up call. But at least I got to make him breakfast. :) And I'm still feeling like crap. I know. I shouldn't. But it's part of life. Part of life with the "Big C." Ugh! Yes, I'm still in my pjs, in bed...

My Guy and I decided to head home this week. Yes, to my home. On the other side of the country. For a lot of reasons. One, we're meeting with the architect. Have I mentioned that we bought property? In the little town near where I own a house. And were building a house. It just seems like too much to me. But I understand the reasons behind it.

My Guy likes to have a place, to escape to, when he's not working. Even though in the town where I live, no one ever recognizes him. But I get it. My house is in the middle of town. In a neighborhood. My yard connects with 5 other yards. Not much privacy. So I can understand.

Speaking of my house, we're thinking about selling it. So we're going to go through my stuff. It's time to start making decisions on what I want and what I don't. It's crazy! I've been living with My Guy, well pretty much, for over 2 years now. And I have a house full of stuff that I don't use. Time to really go through my house.

No, my house has not been empty all this time. I've had friends who have lived there. And from time to time, My Guy and I go for a few days at a time. But it's really time to get rid of things I don't use or want. I want someone to love my things. To really enjoy some of the things I have. So that is what we're going to be doing this week. At least for 3 days.

Then My Guy is heading back to work. And I'm heading home to visit my parents. It's way over due! And hopefully I'll get to see some friends. And my goddaughter. It's been forever! I feel like such a bad Nina. But that's my week in a nutshell. What are your plans for the week? ♥

Dutch Braid

Are you going to laugh when I tell you something? I've been wearing my hair in braids all summer! Well, it's 1 of the 2 hairstyles that I've been stuck on. Because My Guy and I have been traveling all the time. To places that are incredibly hot. And I'm convinced, I need to cut my hair already. At least a good 10 inches. I'm craving some short hair. :) Seriously, long hair and heat do not mix!



Yes, I've been wearing braids. Braids with my hair down. And braids with my hair up. Curling my hair? Forget about it! It's too long. And the weather is too hot. I've just been about braids. My naturally curly hair with some little braids in a crazy updo. Or a braided headband with straightened hair, worn down.

I'm glad that My Guy is OK with my low maintenance style this summer. If you would have asked me a few years ago, I would have told you, he had to be in a relationship with a high maintenance type of woman. You know the type. Highlighted hair, fake and bake tan, and fake nails. That was before I knew him. Before we began dating. Now I know, he likes his women all natural! :)

Talking about My Guy, he's working right now. I'm still not feeling 100%. But I'm getting there. I'm just hanging out in the coach today. I've got a bunch of movies and crochet to keep me occupied until he gets back. Exciting Saturday, huh? What are your plans for the day? ♥

Busy Day

I haven't been feeling good since Tuesday night. I kind of have an idea what's up. But I'm trying to be positive.

We got up early this morning. And My Guy and I went to my doctor's appointment. Which was crappy and long. I felt horrible. And it was freezing in there! What is up with the insanely cold rooms? It was such a long morning. At least to me. But I'm grateful that My Guy got to be there with me. My results...I'll get those next week. Over the phone. :(

My Guy, he had to work too. And we were traveling. I was still feeling like crap. So he flew to his work thing. And I flew here. I'm just happy that it's not raining. I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. Oh ya, I am. But it's OK. My Guy will be back soon.

And what am I doing? Laying in bed. Trying to feel better. Do you ever do that? Try to will yourself to feel better? I do that a lot! But it doesn't seem to be working this time around. Which could be a really bad thing. So I'm praying. Literally praying to God. I just can't get sick again... ♥

He Just Knows...

I have not been having a good couple of days. I know what it is. But there's not much I can do about it. But rest. And I'm not good at that. Being sick is horrible, this is 100 X's worse! A call to a good friend yesterday, well that lifted my spirits. But I've been down. And trying to act cheerful. Because My Guy has to work. And I don't want to burden him. Oh, and the million weddings this summer...

I"m trying to convince myself to be healthy. But well, it's not working. My body is refusing to listen to my mind. So today, I slept. My Guy really knew this morning, that I wasn't feeling well. Because I tried to convince him to stay home. Yes, I wouldn't let him out of bed. Because he makes me feel better. Just being around me. And I needed that today. But, at last, I let the man go to work. Because he has that kind of job. You know, were you can't call in sick. And he must have rushed through what he needed to do. Because he came home really early. So early, I was asleep...

And he let me sleep. While he made calls. And arranged for his grandma to make me some soup. And he went shopping. The man doesn't shop. Not ever! I do all the shopping around here. But he went. And got all my favorite things. And some little surprises for me. And Failure to Launch. Why have I never seen this movie?

By the time I woke up, the yummy food was here. And we had everything I could need or want. It was crazy! But so sweet. :) And My Guy cuddled with me in bed. And we watched Failure to Launch. Which was nice. We laughed. And joked about the movie and real life. It was a nice way to spend our evening.

I'm really glad that I have My Guy. He takes really good care of me. And my friends, they know how tough this has been for me. But having this amazing support, it makes everything so much better! Thank you Blue Eyes! I really do love you! And I appreciate all that you do for me. :) ♥

PS Go watch Failure to Launch! It's such a good movie. Seriously, why haven't I seen it before today?

A Little 'Rella

If you read my blog last week, you know that one of my Goddaughters, had a birthday. :) She is in the hospital. Battling the Big C. What a strong little girl Sarita is. And I LOVE her so much! So I thought long and hard, about the perfect gift to send her.

She's in bed a lot. And she LOVES Cinderella. Or "Rella." So when I saw this pattern, I just knew, that it was perfect! Well, the bag part anyway. :) I immediately ordered the pattern. And got started, the minute I got my fingers on it.




Yup, this is what I made Sarita. But I also bought a little set of Cinderella figurines. To go inside. I did make the 3 crochet characters. But I wasn't loving them. I also went out, and got Sarita some books. And a few more things, that she could enjoy in bed. It has to be tough, to be 4 years old, and sick in bed. I'm trying to helping her, enjoy life a little. And I hope, that this brought a big smile to her face! ♥