The Truth...

The last few weeks have been challenging. Who am I kidding??? The last few months have. I've kept it pretty quiet. But in June, I suffered 2 concussions, in just a few days. It really did a number on me. By the end of July, I was still in a lot of pain. Having constant migraines. Being forced to take a temporary leave, from the hospital. Honestly, I really couldn't function.

A lot of this, has to do with my past. I was a cheerleader for 5 years. Competitive cheerleader. With a coach, that we nicknamed "Hitler." If you knew her, you'd know why. In my senior year, I was hurt. I suffered 10 concussions, in just 1 week. Everyone around me, could see that I was barely functioning. I'm almost positive, during that week, I spent more time in the nurse's office...than I did in my classes. :( But I tried to stay positive. Tried to hide my pain. My constant dizziness. And my constant nausea.

I'd convinced my parents, that I was OK. But also, begged my Dad to drive me to school. That entire week. And when it was time to head home, go to a game, or whatever other school activity I had...I'd ask a friend. Which was completely, out of the ordinary for me. By that Friday, I really was barely going.

I remember there being a school assembly. And just praying, that I'd make it through that hour. That included a dance performance, a cheer performance, and the other craziness that we were supposed to be doing. Sometime during our cheer performance, "That Girl," landed square on my head. And somehow, in that instance, I knew something was different.

I barely made it through that hour. In so much pain. Struggling to stand. The minute the gym cleared, my Dad was trying to figure out if I was OK. Other parents were arguing with my coach. By that night, I was on doctor's orders. No more cheering. Until I had healed. At least a 6 week period.

I remember the doctor, scolding my Dad. Who happened to be the one, that took me to the doctor. He explained how serious this was. How many concussions I'd had in just 1 week. And what my future would hold, if I didn't stop all of this. I was out for 6 weeks. No "ifs," "ands," or "buts" about it!

BUT, we were heading to Nationals. In just a few weeks. What was a girl to do? Oh, my coach was not pleased!!! Not at all. I couldn't dance, in her dance class. I couldn't workout, practice, or do anything at games. Pretty much, if it was something that challenged me physically, I couldn't do it. If it was too loud, I was to remove myself. If it was too chaotic, I was to be no part of it.

But it was Nationals. My coach was beyond angry. The trip was paid for. And it was my senior year. After about 10 days, I talked to my parents. If I continued to be benched, not be involved in anyway, in stunts, and just took it easy...they'd let me go.

This is the point, that most people would think, we're all crazy!!! We were. But I was determined. I became the official "Sign and Banner" girl, during our performance. Which included me doing 2 jumps, dancing, and a lot of "Crowd Involvement."

That trip was a bit miserable. We left in the wee hours of December 26. My uncle, had past away, the night before. But we were headed to Dallas. On a plane with a "broken wing." We didn't get far. Not just because of our plane, but because of the "unusual blizzard." Eventually, we made it to Dallas.

It got worse. There was lots of fighting. Freezing temps, blizzard conditions, our coach was so sick. It was just miserable. Our performance went OK. Nothing to write home about. And then, we were expected to spend 2 days at Six Flags. In the snow!!! Um, I couldn't even ride the rides. I was miserable.

As you can tell, I didn't take good care of myself. For that, I suffer today. I've had a handful of concussions in the last 10 years. Each one, is much more debilitating to me. I find myself suffering from migraines. Unable to do much. Out for much longer periods of time.

So when My Guy suffered a concussion in late August, I knew immediately. Partly due to my "Day Job." Partly due to my past. I was surprised, when the doctor "cleared" him. And just told him to take it easy.

Then, just a few weeks ago, he suffered another. The impact, was much harder. In all, he had 3 concussions, in just 6 weeks. And suddenly, our world came "Screeching to a Halt." This man wasn't going to be able to work. At least for 2 weeks. Maybe longer. We weren't sure.

This time, he was to not watch TV, play video games, or get on the computer. He had to stay away from too much action, noise, and busy-ness in general. Essentially, we were to make him rest. Monitor his headaches, and other symptoms.

Normally, it wouldn't be too bad. OK, yes it would. He's still a man, after all. One that doesn't like to appear weak. But after making him go to the doctor, being diagnosed, and realizing the seriousness of the situation...he knew he had to stop. Just as I had done, a few months ago.

Oh, but this time around, we had nearly 100 people in town. Just for 2 events. Besides the people that had paid to attend these events. 100 personal guests. Our friends understood. As did family. And this guy's co-workers. Did it make it any easier? Not really...

The two of us, found other ways to entertain ourselves. Lots of talking. Tons of napping. And just enjoying life in the "Slow Lane." Something we don't do. Not ever!!! Days would pass. He'd feel better. Insisting, that he could go back to work. But really, he couldn't. He couldn't even drive a car. Hello!?!?!?

Until today. Just now. After 2 days of doctors' appointments, tests, and "real life" situations. He's been officially cleared. And life, is apparently, back to normal. :) My Love, is healed!!!

The first week, was tough. But we learned so much about one another. The second week, was a bit more relaxing. We slept a lot. A LOT!!! The beginning of this week, we were just flat out anxious. Again, some of our best friends, were in town. To finally get some of those postponed events done.

It's been a challenge. Especially, if you knew the second part of this. My Dad hasn't been doing well either. Just before this round of concussions, I'd been home. To help my parents. My Dad is just struggling right now. I really do wish, that I could have spent more time with them. Just being there to help out. But I'm just glad, that I got to be there, for the short time, that I was. Helping were I could.

As you can tell, it's been a very chaotic, and hectic time. I've turned to God, more times, than I can possibly count. I'm grateful to God, that he is with us, when we need him most. Comforting us. Giving us strength.

With our news, just a little while ago, the chaos starts again. At least, until Thanksgiving. :) I need to run to the store, get packing, and wrap my head around all of this. It's just been such a tough time. And I pray, that the remainder of our year, has a little less "action." ♥

Please Support Purple Day

Today is Purple Day. And I ask, that you wear something purple today. It doesn't matter what it is. A purple top. A pair of purple pumps. Heck. some purple jewelry, would be nice.



And why am I asking you, to do this? It's to help support Epilepsy Awareness. I know, Epilepsy Awareness Month is November. But today is Purple Day.

I'm VERY PASSIONATE about this! Because my Dad has epilepsy. He was not born with it. Actually, it was the result of an accident. I've ALWAYS known my Dad, with epilepsy. As a small child, I learned how to take care of him. Epilepsy has always been a big part of my life. And I'm very hopeful, that in my lifetime, a cure will be found. So let's wear some purple today! ♥

It's Fun!

I can definitely tell, that it's a new year! I've had a lot of friends and family call me. Why? They're looking for a new exercise program. Something fun. Something to get them in the mood to workout. Something to help them with their new resolutions.

I've been thinking about this. And well, there are so many GREAT programs to follow. My favorite being...running! But I know lots of people don't like to run. So I thought some more. And I'm lucky enough, to get to try many of these programs out. You know, for school. But one of my new favorites, has to be LaBlast! It's just fun, to get up and dance!



I had so much fun, when I was trying out this program! Mostly, because I like to dance. Yes, I enjoy exercising. But more than anything else, I like to dance! This is definitely a program, that you won't get bored with easily. I promise. So if you're looking for something new, I'd definitely try out these DVDs. At the very least, pick up 1 of them. If you enjoy it, maybe a few of your friends, and you, can invest in the set. Because honestly, this is fun to do with all your friends! Bonus, they'll keep you motivated to workout too! ♥

Happy Birthday Boss!

6 years ago, I made a triple chocolate cake. Called my nephew up. And I waited. When he walked into my parents house, I surprised him. With a birthday cake. And he cried. I had never realized this, until that moment, he had never had a birthday cake. Yes, my nephew, that is in his 30s, had his first birthday cake. That day!

Since that day, life has not been very easy for my nephew. He almost died. Spent most of a summer in the hospital. Later, lost his wife, step kids, and young son. She just wasn't strong enough. And he was like a small child. Trying to relearn, everything that had been taken from him. But, he is now recovering. Doing better. Living with another one of my nephews, and their friend. Everyone is cheering on my nephew. Watching this miracle happen.

He's getting stronger. Remembering more. Talking. Heck, he even taught himself how to drive again! Yes, things are looking up for my nephew. :)

And today is his birthday. His "Little Auntie" is once again baking. His favorite chocolate cake. With chocolate chips! And I'm so excited for him to come over.



I made the special trip, back to my hometown. To celebrate this amazing day. Just a few years ago, we weren't sure, if we'd get the chance to celebrate again. Today, we're celebrating this amazing man. And just how far his gotten. We all Thank God, that he gave us back "The Boss!" Happy Birthday! ♥

Restful Reading

Today, My Guy had to work. He left early, to catch a cross-country flight. I opted to stay in bed. In our beautiful suite. And rest. The last few days of performing, with my current health issues, is really kicking my butt. Usually, I'd travel with this guy. Enjoy the days activities. But not today.

Today, I slept in. Woke up late. So happy that My Guy had ordered me a late breakfast. Yes, I'm in LOVE with Room Service! And I curled up, with the best strawberry crepes. And this book...



I actually came across this the other day. While shopping with my Mom. And I couldn't pass it up! Not for $2.97!!! When did Wal-Mart, start selling books, for this price? So I bought it. Along with 10 others. All for this great price. When you read as much as me, you really do get excited about news like this. :)

I spent a good portion of my afternoon, snuggled deeply in my blankets. Reading this great story. I don't regret a second of my day. Lately, I've been putting on this brave face. Today, I just listened to my body. And rested.

It also helped, that this wonderful man, came back early. And we spent, the last few hours cuddled up. Napping. I think we need to schedule in, a few more days like this. ♥

Please Pray

I had this really fun post, planned for today. But the life, just got sucked out of me. My parents just called me, with some bad news. And I have a favor to ask you. Can you please say an extra prayer, for my nephew and his family?



Today, he was diagnosed with leukemia. My nephew is in his 30s. Married. And the father of 5 boys. An amazing family! He's such a family man. He had just inherited part of his family's Ranch. And was planning on some amazing things for it. To provide his boys, with a good and solid future. That's the kind of man he is. Always thinking of others.

Unfortunately, life had a different plan. My nephew had been losing weight. And not feeling well. He attributed it, to his stress. He has been out of work for about a year. Unfortunately, that wasn't the reason. He is sick. And this is so serious!

I just ask that you keep him, and his amazing family, in your thoughts and prayers. It's going to be a long road. And I just can't imagine, what his family is facing. The youngest of the boys, are twins. 4 years old! they have no clue what is going on.

God is so amazing. And we're placing all of our trust and prayers, in his hands. But one, can never have too many prayers. My Dad is a great example of that! Please pray. Our family needs it so desperately, right now. ♥

The Day My Life Changed...

I didn't realize, that a year ago, my entire life would change. One year ago, my Dad got sick. My Mom called me that morning, and I rushed home. That 3 hour drive, seemed to take forever! Thank God, I had this guy with me.

I immediately knew, something was wrong. This wasn't the "usual" situation. And by that night, we were at the hospital. Unsure of what our future held. My Dad looked horrible. We became the priority case. And immediately, we were in ICU. We spent the next week or so, by my Daddy's bedside. Watching him. Praying for him. Taking care of him.

Christmas came and went. New Year's quickly followed. And soon we were home. My Dad was weak. But alive. And home. It took us days, to unwrap the few gifts that we had bought. Our family is totally a "Shopping Procrastination Family." My Mom and I quickly shopped the sales. Bought gifts for the kids. Bought food and essentials. And spent the next few weeks, hosting family. And taking care of my Daddy.

Over the last year, we've all adjusted. My Dad gets so frustrated with himself. With the fact that he can't do the things he used to do. My Mom and I, have become experts in Health Care. We now see our family doctor once a month. Take semi-monthly trips to the pharmacy. All of that stuff.

My Mom has adjusted the most. Other than my Dad. She had to learn lots of things. How to check my Dad's blood. How to give him a shot. My Dad had to learn how to eat differently. There were lot of changes to their daily life.

Nowadays, my Dad drives less. He naps more. His energy is maybe 1/2 of what it was a year ago. His balance is off, most days. There are more pills. Lots more insurance. And calls to companies. Lots of patients. Lots of time to get places.

There are also those weeks, when my Dad is just out of it. When he doesn't feel right. And just wants to sleep. When he is feeling horrible. When we need to really watch over him, and nurse him. When he feels depressed, and moody. The times when I try to be there. When I pray the most.

A year ago, my Dad would drop us off at the Mall. Walk around a few times, before sitting down, to wait for my Mom and I, to finish shopping. These days, he has a Handicap Parking Sticker. One of us has to walk him in. And find him a place to sit. On a good day, I can convince him, to walk around a store, once. Before he gets completely exhausted!

There have been falls. There have been prescription changes. New treatments. And lots and lots of patients! But things are looking up. My Dad's numbers are improving. At a much more rapid pace, than one would expect. Soon, he'll be off his shots. And his medication lowered.

But there have definitely been changes. I spend more time, with my parents. More time helping them. More time taking care of everyone. I don't mind. I'm glad to be able to do it. I also have this guy, who makes it all possible!

A year ago, I was pleading with God. Asking for one more year. I needed one more year. It wasn't his time yet. I vowed to take care of my Daddy. To do whatever needed to be done. I begged God. Every night, when everyone would leave, and my Mom would sleep, I'd sit there. Praying for my Daddy. Holding his hand. Encouraging him to fight.

The last year has been tough. My parents own a business. One that doesn't take a break. Ever! One that put more and more responsibilities, on my shoulders. I was more than ready to help out. I've learned much more about the business. Learned, done work, and honestly...just tried to keep up. My Dad was used to getting up and starting his work day at 3AM. These days, he naps from 6AM-8AM. Then again from 10AM-1PM.

But most of all, I've tried to bring my family together. Tried to remind my brothers, we need to be there for our Dad. I wish that I could find my sisters. And encourage them to come back. We need to pull together. Our Dad is not a young guy. He's nearly 80. And he needs us. Honestly, we're lucky to have him. And we should all appreciate, this second chance. We got our Dad back. To love. And make memories with. Thank you God. The last year has meant so much to me! ♥

Praying

"Behold I will close their wounds and give them health, and I will cure them: and I will reveal to them, the prayer of peace and truth."
~Jeremiah 33:6

Please say an extra prayer, for my best friend. She is having surgery today. Hills has had a tough 2 years. And needs all the love, prayers, and support we can send her way. My Guy and I were supposed to be there today. But are currently snowed in. Hills we love you! Can't wait to see you soon. Remember, we're always with you and Baby C! ♥

Quiet Time

I'm pretty much craving a little bit of this. Quiet time. A good book. A comfy couch. No worries. Just some time to breathe. Time to let my mind rest a little. Maybe a cool breeze. And the light scent of fresh flowers.

The last few months have been extremely busy. And chaotic. I might have a crap load of siblings, but I still feel the entire weight of the world. You know, when it comes to my parents. I wouldn't have it any other way. I enjoy "being there" for my parents. I like that I have the opportunity, to take the time off of my life. And just be with my Mom and Dad. Nursing my Dad back to health. Easy the stress and pain that my Mom feels.

But it's a heavy load to bear. Especially with everything else I have going on. Let's not even get me started on my own health issues. I'm exhausted. And work, well, it just takes the last of my energy. All the time! School, well it's there too. It's never been hard. But it's draining.

God knows this. I'm positive that's why he has sent me My Guy. A man that I can lean on. And really believe and trust. Someone that is always here for me. Someone that stands beside me. And when things get too hard, he carries me along. Did you read his post from yesterday? All I have to say is, I'm one very lucky woman!

I know, that God knows best. He holds my entire future in his hands. I believe this, with my entire heart and soul. I also believe that he sends us the perfect people. The ones that fit right into our lives. That make us better. The people that help us to stretch and grow.

As much as I crave peace and quiet. Most of all, some alone time, I'm glad I have My Guy. He makes my entire life more simple. He adds to the quality of my life. And encourages my dreams, hopes and goals. That's incredible!

Today, instead of staying in. You know, in my gorgeous hotel suite, I'm heading out. To be a supporter of My Guy. To show him the love and support, that he shows me, all the time! There will be enough quiet time in my future. I have 3 books packed for our trip. But today, I'll be cheering on the man I love. My reading will just have to wait. ♥

Happy Birthday Dad!

The last few months have been tough for our family. Especially my Dad. I can't believe that just 2 months ago, he was fighting for his life. Literally. It was the first time that I really was faced with losing him.

My entire life, I've known that my Dad isn't going to be around forever. I've always known that I will have significantly less years with my parents. Because they were older when I was born. But suddenly, it became real. Harshly real.

So today, it's extra special. Not just because it's my Dad's birthday. But because God let us have him for one more year. That is very, very special. And I know a lot of that has to do with all the love, support, and prayers that we received from so many people. Thank you all again!

I've come to realize just how important it is to say, "I Love You." I'm not one to say that much. But if I've learned nothing more than this small lesson, always say what you mean. You don't realize just how quickly life can change. One minute, you're wrapping Christmas presents. The next, you're watching your Daddy fight for his life. Yes, it happens that quickly!

Happy Birthday Dad! You mean the absolute world to me! You're the very first man that I ever loved. And that ever loved me. I've looked up to you my entire life. Wanting to be the very best, just to make you proud.

Today is all about you. The things you want to do. Celebrating. And just enjoying life. I'll be saying tons of extra prayers today. Thanking our Dear Lord for allowing us more time together. Time to make memories. And to love one another as a family.

For everyone reading this, tell that special person just how much they mean to you. You never know if you will see tomorrow. And you never know if you'll get one more day to celebrate. Live every day to it's fullest. And with no regrets. Take it from my Daddy, and live your life without fear. ♥

Searching for Peace

I know that I shouldn't feel this way. I should be very grateful for the life I live. I have a man that truly loves me. That has stood by my side through so much. Is here for me day in, and day out. My Guy is here, battle the Big C with me. I'm very lucky.

Beyond him, I have parents that love me very much. At times, I question my Daddy. But I realize, he grew up very differently than me. In a very different time. So I need to understand, at times, that harshness, it's really love. But I know, my parents love me. My Mom and I, well our relationship has just bloomed over the last few years. Something that I'm so grateful for!

I also have a HUGE group of friends that really love me. Best friends that I've had since birth. Especially Enzo. The man has done so much for me! Since birth, we've been "Kindred Spirits." Friends I've met along the way. My "adult" friends. The ones that are more like family. All the family friends that have watched me grow. That embrace me as a daughter. Yes, there are lots of them.

I'm also in a much more comfortable stage in my life. Financial, I'm doing well. I own my own home. Free and clear. It's mine. And I'm only 27 years old! I no longer have to go to sleep without eating, freezing in a cold house, and wondering if a tuition payment is more important than a doctor's appointment. I'm able to provide for myself. These basic things, that just a few years ago, were so far out of reach!

But I can't help myself. I've been going through a lot. The last few years have been tough. For me, it's been about facing demons from my past. Which is probably a shocker to many people out there. Yes, this shy, "Goody Two Shoes" woman...she has some pretty ugly things that she's had to face. Things that leave me sick to my stomach. Just thinking about them. But it's part of my history. The things that have shaped me.

Along with that, comes family issues. It's tough being the only child that my parents had together. I face more problems with my brothers and sisters, than most people face with their worst enemies. It's tough. It's hard to sit there and take all the name calling. The constant belittling. It's just tough.

The worst part is, I'm almost "forced" to have relationships with these people. People that I don't respect. I even question if I really love them. I mean, we're supposed to love our family, but do I love these people? I'm not sure. And that to me, is very sad!

In the last year, I've had to turn the other way for many things. Many family issues. I've had to listen to so many lies. To endure so much! To honestly, question every person in my family. Are they really here for the right reasons? What is their motive? I can't stand to watch what certain people are doing to our family. But I have no voice in the matter!

I guess there is just a lot going on. With my family. With old friends. People that I thought I could trust. Only to learn the hard way, that I really shouldn't have allowed them into my inner circle. Lots of circumstances surrounding certain family members. And of course, my own health. Let's also not forget about my Daddy's recent brush with death. It's all been tough.

Some days, I question everything in my life. All of it! I've recently found myself questioning things, that I never have before. Like my religion. Even my own morals and values. I guess I just need a "time out" from the "real life."

I guess the fact that our traveling is starting to pick up, well that could be a very good thing. My Guy has returned to his long hours at work. And I've been put on semi-bed rest for another week. So maybe God is just giving me a much needed "Adult Time Out." You know, to search for the much needed peace that my body, mind, and soul desperately need. ♥

Can We Start Over?

We've had a pretty hilarious day, thus far. And it's still early. But that's our life. And we're who we are. No changing that. I'm pretty sure that My Guy and I are a little old, and set in our ways. :)

Usually we have dinner with his grandma on Monday nights. You know, as long as we're in town. And we don't have to work. Heck, there have been times when I go to her house for dinner, while My Guy has to work. He has to miss out, but I don't! She makes dinner, I take dessert, and then I do all the cleaning. Because I just LOVE spending time with her. Hearing stories from the past. But this week, it just didn't happen. There were a few things that got in the way.

So, she came over for breakfast this morning. Probably not the best time to have planned this. Since I had a doctor's appointment, My Guy had to go to work, and we were getting ready to head west. But we hadn't seen each other in a long time. And I truly had missed her. We still had a yummy breakfast! I LOVE the fact that she LOVES Mexican food. So we had chiquichilles. So yummy!

On the way to my doctor's appointment, something happened to the car. And while My Guy was trying to figure it out, hood up and all, someone recognized him. Before I knew it, I was hiding under a seat in the back, he was on the phone with his assistant, and there were at least 20 cars stopped on the side of the road. All those people were taking pictures of him! Craziness!!!

I think I've said it more than once on here, but Mondays are our Sundays. Therefore, Tuesdays are our Mondays. And believe me, today FELT just like a MONDAY! Everything going wrong, and a HUGE list of things to do.

We lucked out a bit. One of My Guy's friends happened to see us stranded on the side of the road. He called a buddy of his, that owns a tow truck. And by the time My Guy's assistant got there, they were hooking up the tow truck. Some whispers were exchanged. We, or I should say I, was towed half a block into some random garage. Where I was able to sneak into the assistant's car. And then we were off to the doctor. Crazy! But no one saw me. :)

I was late to my appointment. My doctor was nowhere to be found. And I fell asleep in the waiting room. My Guy, he had to rush to work. Ya, we broke down maybe 5 minutes from his job. But they had to drive 2 hours to my appointment and back. After his meeting, he came to pick me up. I was asleep. In the waiting room. Still hadn't seen the doctor...

Eventually, I was checked out. I'm "A OK." Well, thanks! I knew that. We missed our scheduled flight out of town. And had to wait to be cleared for another take off. 2 hours in an airplane. On the tarmac. Ya, it's been a tough one.

I'm just happy to be going home. To the SW. Where I belong! Hopefully tomorrow is more kind to us. I can't take another day like this. Oh, and we might just tell my Dad about this whole relationship thing. You know, since we've almost been dating for 3 years! Where in the heck has all the time gone? ♥

Saturday, Cowls, Naps, Work, and My Guy

Do you see this cute cowl? Do you? Ya, I'm in love with it! Maybe I just have this sudden urge, to surround myself with beautiful things...just to make me feel better. Anyway that you spin it, I want it. Especially now, day 1 post-op.

My Guy is "Officially" back to work. His first real big deal is tonight. And he's pumped! So am I. I just hope that I can stay awake until then. And just a secret to share with you...he came out here yesterday, and left early this morning. He came with lots of goodies to make me feel better to. He really is so sweet!!!

I'm going to go take a nap. I hear it's supposed to help you feel better. Especially, post-op. Ugh! I HATE feeling like this. But what can you do? I'm just hoping to watch My Guy and some of our friends tonight. Heck, if I'm feeling up to it, I might try to crochet a cowl like this one. ♥

Things I Cannot Change

The last 48 hours have not been kind. I'm not sure what's really going on. But I do know this much, I need to give it all up. Give all of my worries, pains, and baggage to the Lord. He will help me through all of this.

To sum it up, I was headed to go spend some time with a good friend. Take 5 minutes to just breathe, and be somewhat normal. Instead, I ended up in the ER. A complication to this situation I'm in. And now, just over 36 hours later...I'm flying east. Getting ready for yet another operation.

I'm not questioning it. I'm not holding anyone responsible. Just knowing that I want to feel better. And I want to live. I'm not sure what my future holds. But I have the faith that it will be good. Regardless of what the outcome is. In 2 hours, some of my most trusted colleagues will help me on this long road to recovery. ♥

He's Got A Way...

In case you don't know it, I love My Guy! Full heartily love this man! Yes, the one that is fast asleep right here. Face palm, hair sticking up, curled up in the blankets. I LOVE HIM! And just getting to see him, that just made my entire week! Have I mentioned just how much I've missed him?

Lately, things have been nuts! Honest to goodness...life has just been crazy. My Dad being this sick, has really thrown us all for a loop. Who would have thought he would spend days in the ICU. Especially for Christmas? Christmas was celebrated sometime between Christmas and New Year's Day. Yes, it took us days to get through our few gifts, that we bought and wrapped. You know, since we spent all our prime shopping days in the hospital. We were all that wiped out...

But then, you have me and My Guy. Our plans were just murdered. Seriously. He snuck around the hospital. You know, so I could cry on his shoulder. And he could hold me, and tell me that everything was going to be OK. You know, between praying for my Dad, talking to friends and family, and making sure my Mom was OK. Did I mention? I don't think I've slept more than 4 hours at a time, in well over a month. So to say, that we've totally skipped out on life and the holidays...well that is a HUGE understatement.

But then, My Guy is pretty incredible. And super understanding. He totally gets that I need to be with my family right now. And that our pile of gifts could wait until...well I don't know when. My Guy also understood, that this was not the time, to meet my entire family. Nor my Dad.

Fast forward a bit. This weekend. It had been circled on the calendar for a while. No. Not because, it is officially the first day he had off, since going back to work. Nope. His sister is getting married. As in later today!!! :)

I worked out some minor details with my Mom. Told my Dad that I had a "work thing" that I couldn't miss. And I caught a flight out east. Yesterday, I felt like a 5 year old on Christmas morning. Just waiting, to see the man I love. Yes. I was that lady! :)

And he didn't disappoint. No way Jose! We managed some quiet time. You know, between all the wedding stuff, and family stuff. And we just hung out. Caught up on life. To be honest, I just wanted to cuddle. To be safe in this man's arms once again. It was definitely the way to spend our night.




This song, it just reminds me of My Guy. This amazing man that I love. And that loves me with all his heart. I know this. Not just because he tells me all the time. But because he shows me all the time. I'm truly blessed. Even if, we just have this weekend to spend together...

It's been a tough month for my family. For me. And for our relationship. But there is always so much love, between My Guy and I. It doesn't matter if there are a billion miles between us. We know we have each other.

I feel like nothing, could ever, go really wrong. As long as My Guy is standing right beside me. He makes life amazing. And so fun! If I haven't already said this a million times, I'm a very lucky woman. Just to know that there is a human being, that loves me this much. So much, that I see it in his eyes, every time that he looks at me. I feel it in his arms, every single time he holds me. And it's in his voice, every single, solitary time that we talk. I just know that he loves me. And that folks, is what helps me through all the tough days. The Big C, Dad's health emergency, life...he's just got this way about life, that let's me know, just how much he loves me. At the end of the day, I can't ask for anything more. ♥

Keep Him In Your Prayers

I have a big favor to ask you, please keep my Dad in your prayers. He got sick yesterday. My Mom called me up. To let me know. But something seemed wrong. Really wrong. So My Guy and I drove into town, so I could check on things. I stayed the day, with my parents. Hoping that this wasn't a major issue. But quickly, I realized we were in trouble.



Last night, things got worse. To the point, I didn't feel safe, having my Dad at home. I called this guy. And an ambulance. When it became clear, we needed more help. My Mom and I, were right behind the ambulance. My Dad was immediately a "Priority One." Tests were quickly taken. Many doctors came in and out. His condition, getting worse.

Within an hour, he was admitted to the hospital. To the ICU. In "Bed One." And we've had around the clock care since. He's been medicated, to keep him sleeping. While they try to figure out, exactly what's wrong. Being that it's a holiday, it's been a little tricky. Many doctors are being called in. Hopefully, things will be OK.

My Mom and I have been here. Almost all alone. I don't think, my siblings understand, the seriousness of the situation. One of my brothers also came. His girlfriend insisted. And I'm getting ready, to go call some family and friends. I know, that we need the support system right now.

Most of all, I'm grateful. To God. This medical team. Everyone involved. This is serious. And we need prayers to help my Dad. I'm grateful to My Guy. Who has been my biggest supporter. My rock. Right now. When I need him. But honestly, we need prayers from all of you, to get through this. Please pray. ♥

Sancho

Sancho was my "College Sweetheart." The one that I never saw coming. At all! Because we were so different. He was the guy that all the girls were in love with. I'm not lying. Little girls, college co-eds, old ladies...they all loved him! I remember more than once, women throwing their bras at him. While we were performing!

We met when I was a freshman in college. He was incredibly polite. You could tell that his momma had raised him right. He always made it a point to talk to me. We'd see each other in rehearsals and around campus. But we never really talked. It was more like a friendly "Hi" when we'd see each other. But no hanging out. No real conversations. He invited me to his house a few times. To "Jam Sessions." I just never went.

Until the late Spring of 2003. I don't really know how it happened. Or when I let my guard down. But I did. And we started hanging out more and more. We'd go to his house and watch movies. He'd play the guitar. We'd sing together. Just hang out. Like typical musicians.

And I'd cook for us at my house. Just hanging out. Casually dating. Not telling anyone though. As you will see in later weeks, this has become a pattern with me. Keeping my relationships on the "DL." But for this relationship, at the time, it was the best decision for us.

We spent the entire summer hanging out. I'd go watch him "gig" and he'd go watch me. Pretty much every day, we'd have dinner together. While I went to class, he worked. And evenings and nights were spent just hanging out.

When classes started up again, it became a bit more complicated. We'd flirt in front of people. More like he'd flirt, I'd blush. But no one knew the truth. OK, so one of our professors/friends sorta figured it out. It was pretty obvious. If you were paying attention...

Beyond our professor, Sancho told one friend. And I told one friend. And it stayed like that. At school, we'd casually talk. Just like friends. But we'd spend every evening together. Well, when my rehearsals, and our classes permitted. We'd catch Saturday breakfasts together. It seemed to be a good day to just hangout. And it was something we'd both look forward to. :)

Yes, we worked in close quarters. But we tried to keep things under wraps. Why? I'm not sure. It seemed like a good idea. At least, at the time. We went to conferences together. And performances. But we kept our distance.

The only slip ups we ever had, were actually hilarious! It always seemed like when I was late, he was late. I'd be running in the back down. Completely flustered. And he'd be casually walking through the front door. Not a care in the world. That was us. We'd get that look. Like "What's Going On?" He'd throw a devilish smile. Shrug his shoulders. And pull his hat a little lower. I'd try to explain why I was late. I doubt anyone ever believed us. Which was funny. Because it was true.

Another time, I was seriously late. Like 45 minutes. I came running in, and it was so hot inside! Probably because I had just run 3 miles. And worked out for 2 hours. I was also dressed in 2 layers of clothes. Because it was wintertime. I had on a tank top and shorts on. And to get from the gym to school, I put on a jogging suit. When I got inside, I swear the heater was on full blast. It was at least 80 degrees inside.

I contemplated what to do. I couldn't concentrate on our class. But I knew if I took off my pants, I'd get some crazy looks. Never mind that it was so hot. And that I had on shorts underneath. So I stood there. Just trying to get through my class. After an hour, I couldn't deal. And I took off my jacket...

Sancho, he fell down. Literally! And all I heard was "Woah!" And that too familiar whistle. I wanted to crack up. To at least turn around and see if he was OK. But I didn't. I couldn't. I'd give everything up. Later, we laughed about this. Because it was funny. And I'm pretty sure, by this time more people were figuring out our dating situation.

And me, I'm sure I sucked at keeping things on the "DL." Because he'd get me all flustered. I couldn't sing or play in front of him. Forget forming sentences. More than once, I lost my train of thought, mid conversation! People would ask me what was going on. I'd just shrug and say I had no clue. But the reality was, he made me nervous!

Sancho and I got more serious after I had a serious accident. I had totalled out my car. And honestly, I was lucky to have walked away. It happened on the highway. And I was at least 16 hours late getting home. Because I was scared to drive. But my Dad put me in his truck, and sent me off. It took me almost 6 hours, to make a 3 hour drive.

When I got home that night, Sancho was waiting for me. I could barely move. I was so sore. Everything hurt. I was an emotional wreck. He was there for me. Later that week, my auntie past away. Again he was there for me. That entire week, he would stay with me. Whenever we weren't in school, he was with me. He'd take me to school and rehearsals. And in the evenings/nights he would stay with me. Make sure I was OK. Make sure I was eating. And he'd let me cry.

We were really close. And it was nice, to finally be in a decent and serious relationship. We spent as much time as we could together. Even to the point were he'd bring me lunch on Wednesdays. When I didn't have a break between classes. So we'd have a quick, 10 minute lunch under the trees. It was everything that a "college relationship" should be. Fun, easy, and full of life.

As quickly and unexpectedly as it started, it ended. I'm thinking, at some point, the secrecy of our relationship, killed our relationship. We had a big performance before our Christmas break. And like usual, we stayed separate from one another. Afterward, we did go out. With his friends. Friends away from school. And it felt so good. Like things were finally falling into place. Like it was right. Like maybe, this was going to last.

But in the morning, after everything was behind us, and we were back to school...we were back to staying apart. It was tough. I knew we both wanted to just be happy. And not worry about what other people thought. But his job, sorta depended and flourished, because he was single. Not so good when we were dating...

Well, we finished the semester. And we actually spent a few days in town. Dating. Being "normal." Because no one else was in town. And really enjoying it. We wanted for this to work. Because we made each other better. He encouraged me to be more outgoing, like him. To enjoy life. And I kinda mellowed him out. Made him a bit more responsible. And taught him a lot about life too. We were just compliments to each other. Were one of us lacked, the other made up.

It was nice to be with someone who shared my same values and morals. We could have a good time. Laugh at ourselves. Jam to our music. Just have a good time. But the break from school, lead to the breakup. Although we drove together to my hometown, but in our own cars, that was the last we seen of each other. For our Christmas break. He went his way, and I went mine.

Life got busy. I went to work. And he went to work. Performing in different groups. Living in different cities. Living our separate lives. As easily as we started dating, 7 months later, we just stopped dating. No reasons. No real explanations. No official "Break Up Talk."

We're still friends. Good friends. Between December 2003 and July 2006, we didn't talk much. Mostly our conversations were about gigs or friends. Never just the 2 of us. We'd see each other at school, and we'd say Hi. But that wasn't often. But in 2006, when I moved back up north, I lived with Sancho. He was such a good friend.

We lived together for 9 months or so. It was right when "The Big C" roared it's ugly head. He was so good and supportive. Making sure I got to doctor's appointments. Helping me to work. Yes, more than once, he'd drive me the hour to work. Because of snow, it was more like 2 hours. And he'd drive me. He took care of me when I was sick. I'm pretty sure we watched every episode of Gilmore Girls, Sex in the City, Friends, etc. We'd watch all my favorite shows and movies. I'd cook for him. We just made it work. And I think, had I stayed longer, or hadn't been sick, we would have dated again.

But life had other plans for me. And in May 2007, I moved home. After a long internship, battling health issues, and helping my parents with their business. Sancho and I are still really close. We talk at least once a week. We still perform gigs together. To me, it's important to keep him as a good friend. We've been through a lot. Both good and bad. He's been an amazing friend to me. And I would never want to lose a dear friend like him. ♥

Dutch Braid

Are you going to laugh when I tell you something? I've been wearing my hair in braids all summer! Well, it's 1 of the 2 hairstyles that I've been stuck on. Because My Guy and I have been traveling all the time. To places that are incredibly hot. And I'm convinced, I need to cut my hair already. At least a good 10 inches. I'm craving some short hair. :) Seriously, long hair and heat do not mix!



Yes, I've been wearing braids. Braids with my hair down. And braids with my hair up. Curling my hair? Forget about it! It's too long. And the weather is too hot. I've just been about braids. My naturally curly hair with some little braids in a crazy updo. Or a braided headband with straightened hair, worn down.

I'm glad that My Guy is OK with my low maintenance style this summer. If you would have asked me a few years ago, I would have told you, he had to be in a relationship with a high maintenance type of woman. You know the type. Highlighted hair, fake and bake tan, and fake nails. That was before I knew him. Before we began dating. Now I know, he likes his women all natural! :)

Talking about My Guy, he's working right now. I'm still not feeling 100%. But I'm getting there. I'm just hanging out in the coach today. I've got a bunch of movies and crochet to keep me occupied until he gets back. Exciting Saturday, huh? What are your plans for the day? ♥

Busy Day

I haven't been feeling good since Tuesday night. I kind of have an idea what's up. But I'm trying to be positive.

We got up early this morning. And My Guy and I went to my doctor's appointment. Which was crappy and long. I felt horrible. And it was freezing in there! What is up with the insanely cold rooms? It was such a long morning. At least to me. But I'm grateful that My Guy got to be there with me. My results...I'll get those next week. Over the phone. :(

My Guy, he had to work too. And we were traveling. I was still feeling like crap. So he flew to his work thing. And I flew here. I'm just happy that it's not raining. I feel like I'm in the middle of nowhere. Oh ya, I am. But it's OK. My Guy will be back soon.

And what am I doing? Laying in bed. Trying to feel better. Do you ever do that? Try to will yourself to feel better? I do that a lot! But it doesn't seem to be working this time around. Which could be a really bad thing. So I'm praying. Literally praying to God. I just can't get sick again... ♥