Monday, August 30, 2010


Here we go. Boyfriend #1...

Enzo and I grew up together. He was 2 1/2 when I was born. His mom had known my mom for years. My older brother and sister and around the same ages as his older brothers. And his aunt and uncle, they happen to be my parents' best friends. So it was just a matter of time.

When I was born, Enzo and his mom came to visit me. On the day I was born. He brought me my first teddy bear. And from then on out, we were best friends. Yes, we did everything together. From the stories we hear, Enzo always took good care of me. When I was a baby, he would share his toys and food with me. So cute!

As we got older, we still did things together. But it also involved a lot of other people. Like when he was in T-ball, and later baseball, my parents used to sponsor his team. Along with his brothers and cousins. So we spent a lot of time at the Little League fields. Me with my dolls. Him playing. Oh, and he always managed to talk his uncle, into buying me a snack. And putting up an umbrella for me. :)

My parents got married when I was 5 years old. I was really closer to being 6. And I was the flower girl. Enzo was the ring bearer. We looked adorable together. We were well behaved during the ceremony. And posed for all the pictures. We actually had a lot of fun. Including the get-t0gether at his aunt and uncles' ceremony...pre reception.

At the reception, after dinner, lots of dancing, and while we were having our cake...Enzo popped the question. His parents still have the VHS. The real proof! In our eyes, getting married seemed like a lot of fun. We could dress up, have a big party, have lots of food, get tons of presents, dance, play, and have as much cake as we wanted! The thought process of a then 5 year old girl and a 8 year old boy. :)

We stayed very close over the years. We spent 80% of our free time together. Mostly because of my parents and his aunt and uncle. Friday nights were bowling nights. The adults in our lives were in a bowling league together. And the 2 of us would just hang out. We'd eat. Play. Just be kids. The rest of the time, we were hanging out at my house or his aunt and uncle's house.

Another thing we did a lot, was go to his grandparents' Ranch. It was a HUGE treat to go. And we always had a great time. Enzo was usually practicing his roping or bull riding. And I would help his grandma cook and bake. We LOVED it!

Well, when I was 12 or so, feelings started to change. By this time, we were both musicians, playing and singing in the same group. We spent a lot of time together. And well, we were young. Every time someone got married, we stood up in the wedding together. If either of us had an event to go to, the other would go with. And before we knew it, we were dating.

Yes, Enzo did ask my Dad before our first date. But I think my Dad just thought we were going out for pizza with the rest of our friends. Or something like that. By the time my Dad caught on, we were dating.

We were hilarious. Enzo taught me how to drive. How to ride a horse. And how to enjoy life. He showed me what a real, honest, and good man was. And most importantly, how I should be treated. Our parents didn't always like the fact that we were dating. But for the most part, they were OK with it. I think they figured that they knew both of us, and could trust us.

My Dad and I hit a rough patch. And when I was 14, I moved in with Enzo's family. The rules were strict. As was to be expected. I was 14...he was 17. And his mom is so "old school" that it ain't funny! We had our own bedrooms. There were about 4 rooms between us. Under no circumstance, even if the house was burning, were we to enter each other's room. Or leave our room in our pjs. It was strict. But we were more than OK with it. Oh, and we each had our own bathroom. No need for unwanted trouble there...

Not many people knew that I lived there. Probably just our parents, his brothers, and his aunt and uncle. But we made it work. His mom would take me to school on her way to work. And Enzo or his dad would pick me up from a variety of different activities I was in. And as a freshman, that increased! I probably lived there for 6 months or so. I don't know. There was a summer in the middle of the whole thing. But we made it work.

I moved back home after tragedy hit. Enzo's older brother (the middle brother) was killed. It was sudden. And really unexpected. It was an accident. And the entire family was greatly affected. After the services, and all had quieted down, I moved home. And Enzo tried to enjoy his Senior year of high school.

We went to different schools. And were 3 years apart. That in and of itself, was more than what most teen couples deal with. But now, Enzo was grieving for his brother. And I tried to be there for him. His brother was so pumped that his "little bro" was a Senior. And he wanted him to enjoy every aspect of his Senior year. So when he died in early September, well it didn't give a sunny look to the year.

Remember I said that Enzo's mom was "old school?" I mean she is really "old school." And after S died, she went into mourning. For an entire year, there was to be no celebrating, no going out, no fun, nothing enjoyable, nothing exciting. And Enzo was pulled in about 20 different directions. This was his Senior year. And he knew his brother wanted him to enjoy it. So he went to his older brother and cousins...

Well, we ended up going to his Senior Homecoming together. It was just weeks later. But when his cousin gave him an envelope that they had found, we had to go. S was an amazing man! He enjoyed life. And thought you should live every single second to it's fullest. S had saved money. And put it away for Enzo. $200 for each of the 3 dances that he would have that year. $300 for his Senior Rodeo event. And $500 to go on his Senior trip. $600 for his graduation party. With a letter that would make anyone cry.

I always thought it was so weird that he had all of this saved for his little brother. And the letter. Almost like he just knew. Like he knew that this accident would happen. But it made Enzo realize that he still needed to live. And now, more than ever. Because he had to live for both he and his brother.

We went to Homecoming. Enzo bought me a dress, shoes, the whole works. And we went out to a nice dinner. Had fun. It was the first time I had seen him smile since his brother had past away. And we went with all of our friends afterward, to the Family Ranch. We sat there, watching the sunrise. Enjoying the moment. And later, having a breakfast, that his grandma had made.

2 days later, he had moved in with his cousin. And he wouldn't say a word. But I found out, his mom and him had a pretty bad fight. And in the end, she told him either he was going to mourn and be sad, or he was going to move. And he moved. It was hard on him. His family had been so close. But he moved.

And the 2 of us still dated. I could tell how much he missed his brother. And his mom. Because his dad and him still talked. They would meet for dinner or breakfast a couple of times a week. And Enzo was just trying to get through his Senior year. The best way he could. But he was hurting.

Shortly after his Winter Ball, I could just tell he was miserable. He was going to Harvard the following Fall. Something that I may or may not have had a hand in. ;) And I think he just knew that he would probably not talk to his mom before that. No matter how many times he tried to talk to her, she wouldn't talk to him. And it pained me. It really broke my heart. Because he was miserable. It was like he had lost 2 people in his life.

On Valentine's Day, he planned a big night out for us. Just the 2 of us. His cousin was out of town with his wife. My parents were out of town. And the 2 of us were just going to enjoy Valentine's Day. His tia helped him to make a beautiful and delicious dinner. We got all dressed up. And well...I just couldn't do it. I knew he was miserable deep down inside. Part of him was missing. The sparkle was gone from his eyes. He wasn't the same man I had fallen in love with. He needed to fix things.

Yes folks, on Valentine's Day, we broke up. It was mutual. I knew I had to let him go. That would be the only way him and his mom would talk before he left for college. And he needed that. He needed to know that they were OK before he moved across the country. I was devasted. Enzo was crushed. I was 15...he was 18.

For the next few months, we barely talked. I would go to his games. I still wore his Letterman's Jacket. But we hardly spent time together. I knew he had started speaking to his mom. But he hadn't moved back. Then one night, he came to see me. He wanted me to go with him to his Senior Prom. And I said yes. Because I still loved him. So much. And I wanted him to be OK. To be honest, I really missed him too.

We went. And we had a great time! We danced all night. Had so much fun. It was like "old times." All of us even headed to the Ranch afterward. As the sun was rising, the 2 of us sat on the mountain, in our Prom gear, just taking in the view. It was magical. And deep down inside, I knew that was probably the last time I'd ever be in his arms again. The last time I'd listen to his strong and steady heartbeat. The last time I'd feel his breath on my neck. The last time I'd feel that safe.

A week later, he moved in with his parents. 4 days later, he had graduated. And 3 days after that, we were at his graduation party. The following day, he was moving. And starting college in the summer. I was devastated! I didn't know which way was up. I was 15...he was 18. We didn't have much say in our lives. I was still a kid. Even if I felt like a grown up. I was only 15.

He asked me to marry him. With a big diamond ring. He wanted to be with me forever. And I didn't know what to say. I was too young. My Dad would never go for it. And we both knew it. We didn't know what to say to one another. And Enzo moved. His mom was sad. His parents now had an "empty nest." And she would call me all the time. She wanted to know how he was. I knew about as much as she did...I had no clue!

This was my first year as a Varsity Cheerleader. And I used that as a good excuse. To stay busy. Because when I wasn't busy, I thought of him. The man that I loved. He was truly a man. And the most caring man that I knew. I missed him every second of the day. Because he wasn't just my ex-boyfriend, he was my oldest and very best friend in the world. My "breastest friend ever!"

At the end of that summer, we started to talk. And talk a lot! No one else knew. But we probably talked 3-4 times a day. And then, we decided that we'd try a long distance relationship. No lie! When he came home for the holidays, no one was the wiser. The 2 of us, were out on dates. Yes, we would have to drive an hour north, so we didn't get caught, but we didn't care. :)

But it didn't last. And from my Sophomore year to my Senior year, we dated off and on. He was busy in school. I was busy in school. We lived on opposite sides of the country. My Senior year was filled with trips, cheerleading, and college applications. That was his first year in med school.

When I got accepted to Harvard, he was more excited than I was. Because were he could afford it, I couldn't. His family has some serious cash. And he is heir to it all. That's the way his grandparents wanted it. Me? I had a full tuition and fees scholarship. But oh ya, there was still room and board, books, and living expenses. Oh, and my parents didn't want me leaving the state. Enzo, he was willing to support me. He had the money. But I just wasn't sure. And I definitely didn't need to start WWIII with my parents...

So I stayed. But I went to the furthest university I could. 3 hours away. And I bought a home. Yes, I bought a house when I was 18 years old! Dear Enzo, he had a gorgeous home too! And the 2 of us, once again, started a great romance. Thousands of miles couldn't separate us! I do think that 9/11 had something to do with us wanting to be together. It was like we were being sent this message. That something this special, was worth fighting for.

It was tough to say the least. But we tried. We talked on the phone a lot. Anytime Enzo had time off, he'd come and see me. And when we went home for the holidays, we just played like we hadn't seen or talked in months. It was a bit crazy. But it worked. Well, for a while.

One day, someone found out. I don't know who. But in no time, my Dad and his mom also knew. And that's when the fire started. For some reason, they didn't like us dating. But when we were dating, all they wanted was for us to be apart. And when we were apart, they wanted us to date each other. It was weird. And so complicated.

Well, we eventually broke up. Because it became too much. And he was in med school. I was dealing with very sick family members. And we just couldn't make it work. In the end, we loved each other more than life itself. Once, we even walked into "The Little White Chapel." And we were going to get married. Last minute, we walked out. That's how close it got. As adults, he gave me 3 engagement rings. But we just couldn't change our parents. And for us, that was the nail in the coffin. Because they mean too much to us.

Years later, his grandma died. And in her Will, she left everything to me and Enzo. The family still had hopes that we'd make it work. We were supposed to be the couple that took over for his grandparents. We were the "meant-to-bes." "We" just never really happened.

But now, we are the best of friends. We want nothing but the best for each other. And since we both live in the eastern part of the US now, we get to see a lot of each other. Enzo and My Guy happen to be great friends now too. They go on hunting trips together. And when I needed an internship out here, Enzo was the guy I turned to. Yes he was! And when the Big C happened, it was Enzo that totally stepped up to the plate. That was before I met My Guy.

Enzo took leave from his job to come take care of me. And he still takes care of me. Making sure that I'm OK. And doing 90% of my medical stuff himself. Yes, he is an amazing friend. And an incredible man. In the end, we weren't right for each other. We weren't the "perfect couple." But we were meant to be best friends for life.

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