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Monday, January 30, 2012

Just What We Needed

Let me start off with, I'm back in the South, with My Guy! It feels good to be back. In a place that feels not only familiar, but safe. Very safe. Let me tell you, I needed this. Last Sunday, was not a good day for me. I called a few friends. I just needed to talk. Family issues are just too heavy right now. So last Monday, I hopped on a plane, and headed East.

OK, so maybe this is not the best week, for me to come home. But I came. And this "Happy Couple," is just plain out happy! Even if this guy, had to work, all week long! And I mean all week! Yes, it's back to work for My Love. But he's excited about. Secretly, I'm 100% sure that he has missed working. He's just an adrenaline junkie. I know this. And love him just the same!

Back to yesterday. Have you seen the commercials, for all those Shirley Temple movies? You know the one. You pay $50 for all her movies. Well, that sounds like a good idea to me. I've actually seen this commercial, off and on, for more than 2 years. Did I mention? I'm a HUGE Shirley Temple fan! HUGE!!!



But. You know there is ALWAYS a but! But I'm always watching my money. And $50 for movies? Well, I just wasn't sure about it. I do LOVE me some Shirley Temple! But, there I go again, it is still $50!

Well, you know this guy. He's always thinking of me. Because that's just who he is. You know, My Guy. And he's always looking for things to make me happy. I'm not going to lie, lately, life has been so crappy! I've been "Down in the Dumps." Nothing, and I mean nothing, can sugar coat that. Not right now.

And people, if you don't know me by now, this isn't me. Not in my personality! The only bright things in my week have been, seeing My Guy, talking to some good friends of mine, and spending time with My Guy's family. I know. But it's the truth!

While I was in my home state, and My Guy was working, he ordered the Shirley Temple movies. Oh, and failed to tell me about it. He also surprised me, yesterday morning, with the movies. I'm not going to lie here, we've been in bed all day long! Watching these movies. :O)

I guess, we needed to do this. I know that we've both been in overdrive. For way too long! My Guy has been working like nuts all week! In fact, we spent Saturday in Georgia. While he worked. Honestly, it was a lot of fun! And it's getting us ready for 10 months, on the road.

But the break in our schedules, to do absolutely nothing, was terrific! We needed that. An entire Sunday in bed. Just relaxing. Napping. Eating yummy food. And of course, watching these movies, was the cherry on top! Now I need to think of something, to do for my Prince Charmin'. ♥

Sunday, January 29, 2012

A Big Surprise!

I woke up to a Big Surprise this morning. HUGE actually! My Guy, bought us a house! In my hometown!!! I just about, killed over. I woke up, to this smiling man. Holding a breakfast tray. With flowers. And an envelope. Inside, all the paperwork to our new home. :O)

You see, before Christmas, we went to go look at houses. We've been dating for nearly 3 years now! And the last year, has been a challenge for my family. My Dad got sick in December 2010. Which has meant, that I'm spending a lot more time, in my hometown. Helping my family.

Every single time that I go home, I either stay in a hotel, or at this guy's house. Since he lives in Boston, he rarely is in our hometown. So my oldest friend, let's me stay at his house. Recently, I've spent more and more time in my hometown. My Guy has also spent a lot more time there. With me. And well, we've pretty much, lived in a hotel suite.

But with most things in life, you want to feel at home. Like you belong somewhere. Not in a place, where things feel borrowed. My Guy and I started looking for a small home. A place that is ours. A place where we can come back to. Be together. Enjoy my hometown. My family. My friends. A place were we can start to plant some roots.

We found a place. Accidentally. While taking a drive up to the nearby mountains. We were trying to avoid traffic from an accident. Turned down a side street. Got a little lost. And found a beautiful home. But it was a large home. A place for a family. A place for a full time family. Gorgeous. Spacious. Something that feels like home. That reminds me of this beautiful place, that I'm from. The place, where I became me. Where I grew into this person. A place to come back to. And to feel connected to again.

But I was using logic. We have a home. A beautiful home. In the South. I also have a home. In the small town, where I started college. I love that home. It was the first home, that I ever bought. The place, where I grew up. This man, also owns properties, sprinkled around the country. Places where we spend the most time, while we're on the road. Nothing too big. Or too extravagant. Mostly small places. Perfect for a few days. While he is working.

So my brain, said, "We don't need another home. No more property. We don't need it." Heck, I'm considering selling my home. But my heart, it really fell in LOVE with this home. Because it connected me back, to my hometown. And my roots.

I know that this man, really thought it out. I honestly, had forgotten all about it. I've been more consumed with my family, school, and my internship. He considered everything. Including the costs, with every visit we make. To my hometown. The same things, that he considered, when purchasing other properties. In the end, he knew it was the right thing to do. The responsible thing. And you know what he told me? "It's an investment in our future. One day, we'll split our time equally, between our home, and your hometown." It's important to him, that any future children that we have, are a part of both of our families!

I'm so excited! This is something completely out of the blue for me. COMPLETELY!!! But I'm super excited. Excited about this next chapter. To have this home, on all this property, overlooking those mountains. And that mesa. Near that river. Oh, I'm so excited!

Now, we have to start buying furniture. Painting walls. Moving in. Decorating. Making it our home. It's so exciting! To know that I'm putting down roots, in my hometown, with the man that I LOVE!!!

Here are a few ideas that we came across. And hope to incorporate into our new home. We have lots of windows...which means lots of great light. So we want to take advantage of it!



We have a small room, off of the kitchen. The realtor told us, that it was for a "Tea Room." Have you ever heard of one? I hadn't! But it's a gorgeous room. With dark floors, something like this. They were made from an old barn! So cool. And I have a chandelier, that we never used in our home. Perfect for this house!

I'd also LOVE to find furniture like this. It's just gorgeous! I could see this room, as a place where my girlfriends and I can just hangout. A place where we can chat, share tapas, and have a lot of laughs. I want to keep the paint color light, and some flowy curtains. With lots of candles. Of course! I think it could be magical.



The pantry in this home, is amazing! And I 100% think, that this could work perfectly! I have a nice collection of Fiestaware. The old stuff. And lots of colored glass. It's one of those things, that I've been collecting for such a long time!

There are also some nice bench seats in the pantry. It's an amazing space! I have to say this, a chef of some sort, had to have designed this space. Yes, it's just a dream come true! With a HUGE place for my Cookbook Collection.



There is also a nice breakfast nook. Off of the kitchen. And this my friends, would be amazing! It actually looks very similar to this space. Without the table and booths. I think this could be an amazingly simple project to do!

As you can see, we have a new and fun project on our hands. A HUGE project actually! The only problem is, both My Guy and I's schedules are really picking up. He's heading back to work. And I'm 100% preoccupied with school and my internship. This little project just might take a while. But it's definitely going to be a "Labor of Love." Thank you My Love! It means so much to me!

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Isn't It Lovely?

I'm funny about things. When I like something, I like it. I don't care what brand it is. Where you buy it. Or if it's endorsed by a celebrity. When I like it, I like it.

And that's just the way I feel about Lovely. Sarah Jessica Parker's first perfume. I was not a big fan of Sex and the City. The reality is, I didn't start watching it, until 2007. When it came out, late at night, on FOX. Now I just feel like it's over played on TV. But once in a while, I get in the mood to watch it. Or one of the movies. But back to the perfume!



This perfume, and me, we were best friends, from the beginning. I had initially got it as a gift. From a good friend. And I was hooked! I think I averaged 2 or 3 bottles a year! That's how much I liked it. I liked that the scent lingered on my scarves. But it was never too over powering.

A few years ago, I stopped wearing it. I don't know why. I just did. The crazy thing is, I had 2 and a half bottles of it. Sitting in my fridge. So it wouldn't go bad. :) The other day, I found an old scarf of mine. And it smelled just like Lovely. Immediately, I knew I had to find my perfume!

I think my love of this perfume, comes from my love of lavender, orchids, and nectarine. The Woods White Musk, helps the perfume to not be so floral-y and girly. It anchors the scent, but allows it to still be feminine. Let's just say, I've been wearing it every single day. And I'm more in love with Lovely with each passing day! The pink bottle just melts my heart!

Friday, January 27, 2012

Tarasacan Bean and Tomato Soup

So do remember, when I told you about Pati? From Pati's Mexican Table. One of my new favorite shows. YUM! Just thinking about this show, makes me hungry. Pati's recipes are delish! Anyway, I've really been in the mood to cook lately. I was so excited when I found this recipe! And guess what? It was a hit!



Tarascan Bean and Tomato Soup

Ingredients:

Soup
6 cups of bean puree
1 pound ripe plum or roma tomatoes
1 garlic clove
1 ancho chili, about 1 ounce, steam and seeds removed
1/2 cup white onion, roughly chopped
2 tablespoons safflower or corn oil
3 cups chicken broth, vegetable broth or water
1 teaspoon kosher or sea salt, add more to taste

Garnishes
4 corn tortillas, cut in half and into strips, fried until lightly golden or toasted
1/2 cup cotija or queso fresco cheese, crumbled (farmers cheese, ricotta salata, mild feta or shredded mozzarella cheese may be substituted)
1/2 cup fresh Mexican cream(heavy cream or cream fraiche may by substituted)
1 ancho chili, stem and seeds removed, cut into thin strips, flash fried (optional)
1 avocado, peeled, seeded, flesh scooped out and diced

To Prepare:

Place the tomatoes, garlic, and the seeded and stemmed ancho chili in a saucepan, cover with water and simmer over medium-high heat for 10 to 12 minutes or until tomatoes are completely cooked through. Once the tomato mix cools down, place it in a blender or food processor with a cup of the cooking liquid, the raw white onion and a teaspoon of the salt; puree until smooth.

Heat the oil in a large soup pot over medium-high heat. Add the tomato puree and cook for 5 to 8 minutes, stirring occasionally, until it darkens in color and thickens in consistency. Reduce the heat to medium and stir in the bean puree and broth or water, simmer for 10 to 15 minutes, or until the soup has seasoned and has a creamy consistency. Taste for salt and add more if needed. Turn off the heat as it thickens quickly.

The soup without the added garnishes may be cooled and stored in a closed container and refrigerated for up to 4 days. Since it thickens a bit as it cools, you may need to add some chicken broth or water to thin it out when you reheat it.

Ladle the soup into bowls and drizzle on top a tablespoon each of cream and cheese, a handful of tortilla strips, a few fried chili strips and some diced avocado. You can also place garnishes in bowls on the table to let your guests garnish to their liking. Makes 6 to 8 servings.



This is such an easy, and yummy recipe! I'd definitely recommend it. And the garnishes, definitely add to the soup. It changes up the flavor. This is definitely a recipe, that we'll be repeating many times. Yum!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Cute Idea!

Did you know, that Valentine's Day, is less than 3 weeks away?!?!?! Yes, I know! So I've been looking for some fun projects to work on. You know me! I'm all about decorating for the holidays. And for the first time, in a few years, My Guy has the day off. On Valentine's Day!!!

We did decide to head down to Florida, a little early though. To go before My Guy has to work. And just enjoy the holiday. Celebrate. That means, my projects need to be small and portable. To fold up, and pack in my suitcase. That makes this cute project, an absolute "Must" for me!



What do you think? I'm thinking of painting My Guy and I's names. Along with our fur babies' names. I think it will be really cute! I don't like to eat Conversation Hearts. But I sure enjoy making crafts, that are inspired by them. :) I better get painting. Before I know it, Valentine's Day will be here! ♥

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I Want One

For a while now, I've been wanting a carpet bag. One just like this one! I know, it sounds odd, but it's what I've been searching for. With absolutely, no luck! :O(



Just look at how fun this bag is. Something old. With a history. But so fun! A bag like this, will totally jazz up any outfit. Heck, I think this would be fun to add to my closet. I could honestly stare at it all day long!



Look at the inside of this bag! Isn't it just so fun? I LOVE it! Now if I can just find one. I really want a carpet bag. It's different. And fun. So fun! Something to make me smile, on those cloudy days.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Homako

Love this Etsy shop! Homako has the cutest pieces. They're all handmade. With some pretty cute and original ideas. Actually, they make me, want to start making jewelry again. Oh, that used to be so much fun! Anyway, take a look at Homako's Shop. All I can say is, Eye Candy!



This is one of my favorite necklaces in the shop. Don't you just LOVE this style?!?!?! And the colors! So cute! I'd LOVE to buy it. But $32! A little much for me. Considering it's made out of felt. Oh, but I do LOVE it! I think it would like so cute with a white t-shirt, jeans, and a cute blazer. Maybe I'll convince myself to buy it. ♥

I'm All In!

I don't always tell my Doll Face, just what she means to me. I regret this. She's a damn great woman! I know this first hand. I'm very lucky. I know her love, first hand. It's something that I don't ever want to be without. Life before my Doll Face, just wasn't worth the effort.

We're apart for a few days. That makes these days less exciting. Have less meaning. Dang it, they just aren't the same. But I want my Doll Face to know, I'm all in. I'm proud to say those words. My Lady Love is worth that. And so much more!



Love ya Doll Face! Counting down the days, until you're back in my arms. Laughing at our silly fur babies. Smelling so sweet. Just being you. I'm all in. Love is what I see, when I see you. Your Guy

Friday, January 20, 2012

Grimm's Fairy Tales

Recently, so many people that I know, are having babies. Friends, family, and colleagues. It's such a time of blessings! And one of my favorite gifts to give, to new babies, are books. I know, it sounds crazy! But I think they're precious gifts. Books that can be used for many years to come. And one of my favorite books to give, is Grimm's Fairy Tales.



Yes, I think this is just the perfect gift! I still have my copy, from when I was little. I think most parents don't expect it. But end up, very excited. What are some of your favorite baby gifts to give? I definitely could use some suggestions. I have 5 Baby Showers to go to, in the next 6 weeks!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Pati's Mexican Table

I want to share something with you. Something that has made me so happy! I don't know where I've been. But I've missed this amazing mujer...and her show! Have you ever heard about Pati? And Pati's Mexican Table?

Well, just a few months ago, I was sick, and in bed. Not feeling well. It was a cold and rainy day. Usually, the type of days that I enjoy most. But not that day. I was miserably sick. And this man, was trying to work.

Most of the day I slept. Wishing that I was home. But coming to grips, that we were on the road. And I was sick. I napped on and off, all day, I tried to make myself comfortable. I tried to find something, that would make me a little happy.

I turned on the TV, and put it on PBS. Nothing else is really interesting on a Saturday afternoon. Because, well most people are out doing something. Not me! I've come to realize, some of the best PBS shows, come out on Saturday afternoon.

One of the many garden shows was on. Which, I don't remember. Not at all! But I do remember this. I fell asleep. Then I heard this very calming voice. With a broken accent. It reminded me of someone. I couldn't place it at the time.

That voice, it woke me up. And I watched. In amazement. The food looked delish! The show had great music, Pati had a calming voice, the food looked great, the dishes were fun, and Pati had some great stories to tell! And guess what, Pati is a true Mexican cook! Cooking authentic and traditional food. Oh, I was in heaven! Half alive, but it was bliss!



I took a little time to get better. Later that week, I went to Pati's website. And I explored PBS. Looking for the days and times, of Pati's show. Once I found our local station, I put the day and time into our TiVo. I was not going to miss another episode!

Since then, I've managed to watch all of the episodes. I've tried countless recipes. And read that, Pati will be releasing a cookbook later this year! Oh, I just can't wait! On top of all of this, Pati really does interact with you, on her website.

If you enjoy Mexican cooking, or are interested, in learning how to cook authentic Mexican food, you have to watch Pati's Mexican Table. You have to! This is such a great show. One that I hope, PBS keeps on air, for a long time. Pati is such a great cook. And really makes you want to try every single recipe! ♥

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

They Are Forever

I've never been super close to my family. Not really. Mostly, because I was born between generations. My siblings, well they could be my parents. That's our age gap! All of my cousins are either younger than me, or older than me. No one my age. Not really.

But that never bothered me. I enjoyed spending time with my auntie, uncle, and grandparents. Really enjoyed it. I was used to being around adults actually. My parents would take me to dinners, where they met their friends. I was a regular at their business meetings. It was my "normal."

Honestly, I didn't really know how to socialize with people my own age. Not really. My Bestie and I, well we were inseparable. Until we were teens, and she moved almost 2000 miles away. No lie! Other than her, I didn't have friends my age. Not really.



I mean, I had friends. But not super close ones. Not my age. I had older friends. Friends that always felt way more like family. I assume, that's how most people feel about their cousins. But they were my friends. Little did I know, they'd be my "Forever Friends."

Looking back, I don't know what I would have done, without my friends. You know the old saying, "Friends may come and go. But family is forever." I sorta believe that. But not whole heartily. Mainly because, my friends, my really good friends, have always been there for me. ALWAYS! My family, not so much.

It's not that I have a bad family. It just, the people I was closest to, most of them, have past away. The ones that are still alive, I'm not really close to. They will always be there. They're family after all. But they are definitely, not the people I turn to, when things go wrong.

I'm not saying that every friend I have, is a super close friend. No. That's not how I work. Literally, I'm one of those people, that builds up walls. And only let certain people in. And it takes a long time! Because I'm afraid of getting hurt. Of getting really hurt.

I've had many, many, many "acquaintances." MANY! But that doesn't mean, that we're best friends. Or that I'd call them, say when my house floods. But that's life. There are those people, that I meet through work. Through performing. Perhaps, I met them because of family. They're friends. But not really close friends. Do you know what I mean?

But then, I have these super close friends. Friendships that just happen so quickly. I don't see it coming. Like Manders. Who would have thought? Some random makeup artist, would become one of my very best friends! There's Mayu. Who I met, in my first few days of college. Over 10 years later, we're still close. There's this guy. Who the heck would have thought? Not me! Teachers, bosses, and that girl I met at the gym.

Not all of these relationships turns out great. I wish they would. But that's not how life works. Little G and I, became fast friends. We were almost inseparable, that one semester. We would stay up talking, until 2AM. Two or three times a week! When she moved, we still talked, e-mailed, and wrote each other. But then, well things got crossed. A misunderstanding, lead to two very unhappy people. Two MySpace messages. Which probably shouldn't have been sent. And one horribly failed friendship. One that I wish, was still going strong!

There was also that girl.
My friend. My good friend. We went through a heck of a lot together! And I was positive, she would be my "Lifetime Friend." The only friend that would make it from high school, into "Real Life." It didn't happen. Other people got in the way. And now, we're so bitter towards each other. It's horrible! But in this case, people grow. They change. And sometimes, you just grow in different directions. You lose that part of you, that made you connect as friends.

Friends aren't supposed to judge you. Make assumptions about your life. The kind that are hurtful, untrue, and evil. I've had those kind of friends. That hurt you. But you pray things will change. You endure it. Hoping for the best. And in the end, you have to do what's best for you. You have to just walk away. As much as it hurts, it's the best thing to do!

For me, it's always hard thinking about these things. I'm the kind of friend, that likes to hangout with my friends. Whether it's going to watch a baseball game, cooking for my friends, or just sitting around watching movies. I just enjoy talking to my friends. Sharing our lives together. Being an active part in each other's lives.

In the last few years, I find myself in a different place. I'm almost 2000 miles away, from most of my friends. But I'm grateful for the friends I have. The ones that are super close. And understanding. That don't mind, when a month goes by, without me calling. They get, that sometimes, life just happens. That I get busy. And I never once, have I had to give an explanation!

These are the friends, that I can ALWAYS count on! The ones I call when I'm struggling. The ones that I call, when my world turns upside down. Like when the Big C rears it's ugly head in my life. Or when my Dad was hospitalized. The ones that are there, without you asking for their help. These are my friends, that hug you, take your hand, and tell you...it's going to be OK. And they make you believe it!

These are the same friends, that I can talk to for hours and hours. That make me laugh, with some of the silliest things. Just ask this girl! These are the kind of friends, that call you to meet for lunch. And somehow, lunch lasts 10 hours! That encourage you to chase your dreams. Tell you just how lucky you are, because he really is a catch! My friends surprise me with a new lipgloss when I'm down. Or compliment my new dress. You know, the one that I'm not quite sure of.

I'm lucky, to have this kind of friends. The ones that put their lives on hold, to make sure that you are going to be OK. Those friends that bake you the best cookies, because your day really sucked. They meet you for tapas...just because! Friends who have asked you to be in their lives, every single step of the way. And the ones, that come over, on your worst day, just to watch you sleep. Because, they know, that you need their support.

Luck doesn't even begin to explain it. I have friends that love me, for me. Just because I'm me. Chia pet hair and all! No matter what happens in life, they love me. They want me to do better in life. To be happy. This kind of friend is HARD to find. Incredibly hard to find! So when you find them, you hold on tight. You never let them go. And you make sure, they know, just how important they are to you.

I've had friends hold my hand, when my world was crumbling down around me. I've had friends hold my hair back, when the TPN didn't agree with me. Those that have made me ice cream sundaes, great big ones, when I'd had enough of that man.

Appreciation. Love. Forever grateful. Those are the feelings that I have, for my true friends. The ones, that are always there. The ones, that I don't have to sit there and give explanations to. The ones that are understanding. The friends that trust me, and that I trust in return.

Friendships are complex. Difficult at times. But so rewarding! Rewarding when you have the right kind of friends. And every single day, I thank God for my friends! The ones that are tried and true. Because honestly, I don't know, where I'd be without them. My friends are my beginning and my end. They make me...well me. And make my world, such a magical place. I'm blessed, because I have the best friends in the entire world!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Valentine's Day Garland

Did you know that Valentine's Day, is less than a month away? Where has time gone? I swear, we were just putting up our Christmas trees. I promise, we were! Anyway, I LOVE to decorate for Valentine's Day. LOVE IT!!!

Just over 2 weeks ago, I spotted these cute Valentine's Day lights. In the shape of hearts! At Walgreen's. I was there to pick up some prescriptions. Ended up having to wait. And left with a basket full of Valentine's Day goodies! They got me. But I was over the moon! And I bought a couple of those hearts. Perfect! I got to work, and I decorated. I swear, I was over the moon!

Just one thing. One Valentine's Day, we're going to be on the road. That disappoints me so much! I should be used to it. This will be the 4th Valentine's Day, on the road! So I need some decorations, that can easily travel. You know, pack up in a suitcase. That's when I took to Google. And found this picture!



I never found the source. Which disappoints me. I sorta was hoping it was from Etsy. So I could buy it. You know, already made. :O) But that's OK, I'm going to make this cute garland. Because I'm "IN LOVE" with it! It can be hung, or placed on a table. So cute! And versatile!

I'm still looking for some more ideas. If you have any, or know of any, please leave me a comment. I would really appreciate it! It doesn't matter what the craft is. It can even be a picture. I just need some ideas. ♥

Saturday, January 14, 2012

It's Fun!

I can definitely tell, that it's a new year! I've had a lot of friends and family call me. Why? They're looking for a new exercise program. Something fun. Something to get them in the mood to workout. Something to help them with their new resolutions.

I've been thinking about this. And well, there are so many GREAT programs to follow. My favorite being...running! But I know lots of people don't like to run. So I thought some more. And I'm lucky enough, to get to try many of these programs out. You know, for school. But one of my new favorites, has to be LaBlast! It's just fun, to get up and dance!



I had so much fun, when I was trying out this program! Mostly, because I like to dance. Yes, I enjoy exercising. But more than anything else, I like to dance! This is definitely a program, that you won't get bored with easily. I promise. So if you're looking for something new, I'd definitely try out these DVDs. At the very least, pick up 1 of them. If you enjoy it, maybe a few of your friends, and you, can invest in the set. Because honestly, this is fun to do with all your friends! Bonus, they'll keep you motivated to workout too!

Friday, January 6, 2012

El Dia de Los Reyes

Today is El Dia de Los Reyes. Three Kings' Day. What a magical day it has been! I was lucky enough, to celebrate with my friends. The day that the 3 Kings, came to bring Jesus gifts. In our culture, it is also a day to celebrate. To bring gifts for one another. And to enjoy a little bit of Rosca de Reyes.



Today, we celebrated. Went to church. Celebrated Jesus, and the 3 Kings. We later celebrated at Memo's house. With a nice feast. Where my Compadre Juan found Baby Jesus in the Rosca de Reyes! The kiddos showed me all their new gifts. And we opened some presents. I can't wait until February 2nd! When Juan is throwing the next party. It was such a magical day!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

2 Years...

2 years ago, my brother came back, into our lives. We were hopeful. Our family has been through a lot. We wanted his arrival, to be a good thing. To be a starting place, to heal our family.

Maybe I was just naive about what was to come. My brother. The oldest. The one that was never around. Always shady. But the one, we were all told, to be proud of. I had hoped, things would be better. Better than they had been, all those years ago.



These days, I'm not feeling it. I'm frustrated with him. The way he behaves. The things he does. How he treats people in our family. The way he talks down to everyone. The way, he treats my parents. Especially, my Mom.

He talked the "Big Talk." Actually, he still does. But, he has failed to walk the "Big Walk." In every way that you can imagine. It's so frustrating! But, we're not supposed to say anything. or do anything. Even though, he wants everyone to baby him. To take care of him. To provide for him.

Not me. I'm done. I'm super frustrated. Totally annoyed! And I've stopped walking on "eggshells." I'm speaking my mind. Whether people agree with me, or not. Whether they like it or not. I just can't live like this anymore. It's so frustrating!

I just don't understand it. 2 years have past. He's done nothing with his life. Only made our entire family, more uncomfortable. Only created more problems. Only made the rifts bigger. Only made me resent him more.

It's sad really. I don't want to have this hard heart. Or these horrible feelings. But I can't help myself. I've been hurt, way too many times. I can't deal anymore. I almost feel like, I need to write him off. To cut off the "dead part" of my life.

2 years later, lots of things have changed. Not for the better. That's unfortunate. But I can't control these things anymore. I can't keep lugging this dead weight. It's not fair to me. I've extended my hand. Looked the other way. Tried to see past all the bad stuff.

But I can't do it anymore. It's begun to kill me. From the inside out. And I need to start thinking about me again. It's tough. But it's the reality of being a grown up.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy Birthday Boss!

6 years ago, I made a triple chocolate cake. Called my nephew up. And I waited. When he walked into my parents house, I surprised him. With a birthday cake. And he cried. I had never realized this, until that moment, he had never had a birthday cake. Yes, my nephew, that is in his 30s, had his first birthday cake. That day!

Since that day, life has not been very easy for my nephew. He almost died. Spent most of a summer in the hospital. Later, lost his wife, step kids, and young son. She just wasn't strong enough. And he was like a small child. Trying to relearn, everything that had been taken from him. But, he is now recovering. Doing better. Living with another one of my nephews, and their friend. Everyone is cheering on my nephew. Watching this miracle happen.

He's getting stronger. Remembering more. Talking. Heck, he even taught himself how to drive again! Yes, things are looking up for my nephew. :)

And today is his birthday. His "Little Auntie" is once again baking. His favorite chocolate cake. With chocolate chips! And I'm so excited for him to come over.



I made the special trip, back to my hometown. To celebrate this amazing day. Just a few years ago, we weren't sure, if we'd get the chance to celebrate again. Today, we're celebrating this amazing man. And just how far his gotten. We all Thank God, that he gave us back "The Boss!" Happy Birthday!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Restful Reading

Today, My Guy had to work. He left early, to catch a cross-country flight. I opted to stay in bed. In our beautiful suite. And rest. The last few days of performing, with my current health issues, is really kicking my butt. Usually, I'd travel with this guy. Enjoy the days activities. But not today.

Today, I slept in. Woke up late. So happy that My Guy had ordered me a late breakfast. Yes, I'm in LOVE with Room Service! And I curled up, with the best strawberry crepes. And this book...



I actually came across this the other day. While shopping with my Mom. And I couldn't pass it up! Not for $2.97!!! When did Wal-Mart, start selling books, for this price? So I bought it. Along with 10 others. All for this great price. When you read as much as me, you really do get excited about news like this. :)

I spent a good portion of my afternoon, snuggled deeply in my blankets. Reading this great story. I don't regret a second of my day. Lately, I've been putting on this brave face. Today, I just listened to my body. And rested.

It also helped, that this wonderful man, came back early. And we spent, the last few hours cuddled up. Napping. I think we need to schedule in, a few more days like this. ♥