Monday, September 13, 2010


Sancho was my "College Sweetheart." The one that I never saw coming. At all! Because we were so different. He was the guy that all the girls were in love with. I'm not lying. Little girls, college co-eds, old ladies...they all loved him! I remember more than once, women throwing their bras at him. While we were performing!

We met when I was a freshman in college. He was incredibly polite. You could tell that his momma had raised him right. He always made it a point to talk to me. We'd see each other in rehearsals and around campus. But we never really talked. It was more like a friendly "Hi" when we'd see each other. But no hanging out. No real conversations. He invited me to his house a few times. To "Jam Sessions." I just never went.

Until the late Spring of 2003. I don't really know how it happened. Or when I let my guard down. But I did. And we started hanging out more and more. We'd go to his house and watch movies. He'd play the guitar. We'd sing together. Just hang out. Like typical musicians.

And I'd cook for us at my house. Just hanging out. Casually dating. Not telling anyone though. As you will see in later weeks, this has become a pattern with me. Keeping my relationships on the "DL." But for this relationship, at the time, it was the best decision for us.

We spent the entire summer hanging out. I'd go watch him "gig" and he'd go watch me. Pretty much every day, we'd have dinner together. While I went to class, he worked. And evenings and nights were spent just hanging out.

When classes started up again, it became a bit more complicated. We'd flirt in front of people. More like he'd flirt, I'd blush. But no one knew the truth. OK, so one of our professors/friends sorta figured it out. It was pretty obvious. If you were paying attention...

Beyond our professor, Sancho told one friend. And I told one friend. And it stayed like that. At school, we'd casually talk. Just like friends. But we'd spend every evening together. Well, when my rehearsals, and our classes permitted. We'd catch Saturday breakfasts together. It seemed to be a good day to just hangout. And it was something we'd both look forward to. :)

Yes, we worked in close quarters. But we tried to keep things under wraps. Why? I'm not sure. It seemed like a good idea. At least, at the time. We went to conferences together. And performances. But we kept our distance.

The only slip ups we ever had, were actually hilarious! It always seemed like when I was late, he was late. I'd be running in the back down. Completely flustered. And he'd be casually walking through the front door. Not a care in the world. That was us. We'd get that look. Like "What's Going On?" He'd throw a devilish smile. Shrug his shoulders. And pull his hat a little lower. I'd try to explain why I was late. I doubt anyone ever believed us. Which was funny. Because it was true.

Another time, I was seriously late. Like 45 minutes. I came running in, and it was so hot inside! Probably because I had just run 3 miles. And worked out for 2 hours. I was also dressed in 2 layers of clothes. Because it was wintertime. I had on a tank top and shorts on. And to get from the gym to school, I put on a jogging suit. When I got inside, I swear the heater was on full blast. It was at least 80 degrees inside.

I contemplated what to do. I couldn't concentrate on our class. But I knew if I took off my pants, I'd get some crazy looks. Never mind that it was so hot. And that I had on shorts underneath. So I stood there. Just trying to get through my class. After an hour, I couldn't deal. And I took off my jacket...

Sancho, he fell down. Literally! And all I heard was "Woah!" And that too familiar whistle. I wanted to crack up. To at least turn around and see if he was OK. But I didn't. I couldn't. I'd give everything up. Later, we laughed about this. Because it was funny. And I'm pretty sure, by this time more people were figuring out our dating situation.

And me, I'm sure I sucked at keeping things on the "DL." Because he'd get me all flustered. I couldn't sing or play in front of him. Forget forming sentences. More than once, I lost my train of thought, mid conversation! People would ask me what was going on. I'd just shrug and say I had no clue. But the reality was, he made me nervous!

Sancho and I got more serious after I had a serious accident. I had totalled out my car. And honestly, I was lucky to have walked away. It happened on the highway. And I was at least 16 hours late getting home. Because I was scared to drive. But my Dad put me in his truck, and sent me off. It took me almost 6 hours, to make a 3 hour drive.

When I got home that night, Sancho was waiting for me. I could barely move. I was so sore. Everything hurt. I was an emotional wreck. He was there for me. Later that week, my auntie past away. Again he was there for me. That entire week, he would stay with me. Whenever we weren't in school, he was with me. He'd take me to school and rehearsals. And in the evenings/nights he would stay with me. Make sure I was OK. Make sure I was eating. And he'd let me cry.

We were really close. And it was nice, to finally be in a decent and serious relationship. We spent as much time as we could together. Even to the point were he'd bring me lunch on Wednesdays. When I didn't have a break between classes. So we'd have a quick, 10 minute lunch under the trees. It was everything that a "college relationship" should be. Fun, easy, and full of life.

As quickly and unexpectedly as it started, it ended. I'm thinking, at some point, the secrecy of our relationship, killed our relationship. We had a big performance before our Christmas break. And like usual, we stayed separate from one another. Afterward, we did go out. With his friends. Friends away from school. And it felt so good. Like things were finally falling into place. Like it was right. Like maybe, this was going to last.

But in the morning, after everything was behind us, and we were back to school...we were back to staying apart. It was tough. I knew we both wanted to just be happy. And not worry about what other people thought. But his job, sorta depended and flourished, because he was single. Not so good when we were dating...

Well, we finished the semester. And we actually spent a few days in town. Dating. Being "normal." Because no one else was in town. And really enjoying it. We wanted for this to work. Because we made each other better. He encouraged me to be more outgoing, like him. To enjoy life. And I kinda mellowed him out. Made him a bit more responsible. And taught him a lot about life too. We were just compliments to each other. Were one of us lacked, the other made up.

It was nice to be with someone who shared my same values and morals. We could have a good time. Laugh at ourselves. Jam to our music. Just have a good time. But the break from school, lead to the breakup. Although we drove together to my hometown, but in our own cars, that was the last we seen of each other. For our Christmas break. He went his way, and I went mine.

Life got busy. I went to work. And he went to work. Performing in different groups. Living in different cities. Living our separate lives. As easily as we started dating, 7 months later, we just stopped dating. No reasons. No real explanations. No official "Break Up Talk."

We're still friends. Good friends. Between December 2003 and July 2006, we didn't talk much. Mostly our conversations were about gigs or friends. Never just the 2 of us. We'd see each other at school, and we'd say Hi. But that wasn't often. But in 2006, when I moved back up north, I lived with Sancho. He was such a good friend.

We lived together for 9 months or so. It was right when "The Big C" roared it's ugly head. He was so good and supportive. Making sure I got to doctor's appointments. Helping me to work. Yes, more than once, he'd drive me the hour to work. Because of snow, it was more like 2 hours. And he'd drive me. He took care of me when I was sick. I'm pretty sure we watched every episode of Gilmore Girls, Sex in the City, Friends, etc. We'd watch all my favorite shows and movies. I'd cook for him. We just made it work. And I think, had I stayed longer, or hadn't been sick, we would have dated again.

But life had other plans for me. And in May 2007, I moved home. After a long internship, battling health issues, and helping my parents with their business. Sancho and I are still really close. We talk at least once a week. We still perform gigs together. To me, it's important to keep him as a good friend. We've been through a lot. Both good and bad. He's been an amazing friend to me. And I would never want to lose a dear friend like him. ♥

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